Poop Water: Mimi Saves the Day

Disclaimer: Please note although "poop water" is referred to several times in the story below, at no times was there actual poop visualized in the water or on my floor. My daughter just refers to all water associated with toilets as such.

Less than five minutes from my house last night when the cell phone rings.

Doody: Mommy?
Me: Hi babe.
Doody: I think we may have a bit of a problem here.
Me: What’s that?
Doody: The toilet got plugged up and water is all over the floor.
Me: Okay. Is water still pouring on the floor?

Doody (yelling to sister in bathroom): Emi…is water still going on the floor?
Mimi: (yelling back in obvious distress): YES!

Doody: She said yes.
Me: I want you to take the phone into the bathroom and listen carefully to what I want you to do. Do you see the big lid on the back of the toilet?
Doody: The one with the basket on it?
Me: Yes, that’s it. Put the phone down and carefully take that off with your sister, be careful it’s heavy. Let me know when that’s done.

Doody: Emi, help me lift this up. Be careful it’s heavy.
Mimi: You get on that side.
Doody: No, you get on that side.
Mimi: It’s all wet over there with poop water.
Doody: EMI….JUST DO IT!
Mimi: AGGGGGHHHHH!

Doody: Okay Mommy, it’s off.
Me: Do you see the big ball on a metal rod?
Doody: Yes.
Me: Lift that up.

Doody: Emi, lift up this.
Mimi: No, it’s all wet in there.
Doody: EMI!
Mimi: AGGGGGHHHHHH!

Me: Did the water stop?
Doody: Yes.
Me: Hold it up until I get home, I’ll be there in two minutes. Stay in the bathroom with Emi.
Doody: Okay.

I arrive home a few minutes later to find Doody sitting on the couch watching for me out the front window, jumping up and down as I pull into the driveway. As I approached my bathroom with apprehension, there is Mimi holding up the thingymabob in the toilet with the MOST disgusted look I have ever seen on her face.

I cleaned up the bathroom (there was very little water on the floor compared to what I was expecting) and instructed both of my girls how to turn the water off on the toilet should this ever happen again and on the importance of teamwork.

Even if there is poop water on the floor.

Easy Like Sunday Mornin': Part III

Quick update: Took 9 (yes, NINE) hours to prep and paint three rooms yesterday. Whole body aching today. Want some friendly advice? Avoid choosing red as a wall color unless you enjoy applying 7,452,531 coats.

Julliard, Here We Come

These are truly the most anticipated events of my entire year...

Tuesday night was The 12th Annual Small Town School Band Extravaganza. Bands from fifth grade, sixth grade, Junior High and High School all performed. This was our first time attending with our fifth grader and had no idea what crowd to expect. It was obvious everyone else in the entire town did; when we arrived (30 minutes early) we were limited to the nose-bleed seats. Make mental note for next year, plan on heading to Small Town Extravaganza the week prior for front row seating.

Our Doody is a flutist. The performance began with all of the bands playing the Star Spangled Banner. The fifth grade band followed with Beethoven's Ninth, Crazy Cat and King Arthur's Coronation March. After each of the other groups performed three songs, the entire group convened once again to end the show with a boisterous presentation of Ode to Joy.

It was awesome and once again, I was bursting at the seams. I am usually not a weepy person, with the exception of certain films and talk of my Uncle David, but whenever my kids perform in anything I get seriously choked up.

Dough-Dough's biggest fan.

Easy Like Sunday Mornin’: Part II

Can anything ever be easy? No.

We actually have a date we are moving my parental units! Well, two, actually. All of the issues with their financing have forced them to close on their new house the same day as the cabin, March 31st. I realize this is the norm for most folks, but for us it sucks. First of all when they close on the cabin it, and the barn, have to be empty. This is a lot of stuff, to say the least. They already have a storage unit filled to the brink with the furniture they weeded out when they put the cabin on the market. Traditionally, you cannot move into your new home, or paint and carpet, until you’ve actually purchased it. We cannot empty the cabin and barn, close on the cabin, close on the new house, paint new house, carpet new house and move everything into new house on the same day. Impossible.

So here’s the plan my parents were able to negotiate with the sellers of their new house. This weekend, we are moving all (or most) of their belongings into their new home’s three car garage. We are painting this Sunday. Carpet is being measured and ordered this week, to be installed next week. We will move all of their stuff from the garage into the house on the following Saturday, after they officially close.

They were given keys to the house and garage yesterday and we went over to measure windows for curtains and finalize paint colors. My mother’s face indicated trepidation. Their new house isn’t as big as the cabin, and she will be forced to scale down on the number of antiques to display (you wouldn’t believe me if I told you how many). I have tried my best to help out, by offering to take a few off her hands. She can always visit them at my house. Right now, in the cabin, they have on the large “dead wall” as I call it, three deer heads, one entire deer skin and eleven sets of mounted antlers. These will obviously not fit in their new, smaller, more traditional home. I think it is making her a bit sad. The next two weeks will be tough, all around.

Side Note: If any of my readers are interested in a set of deer antlers or skulls in a variety of mounts, I may be able to make you a deal.

Second Side Note: My Friday and Saturday night events will not be altered by the new moving, painting plan. Friday isn't affected at all and Saturday we've already warned my parents we're leaving at a certain time. You're both stuck with me now.

Third Side Note: I hope nice black slacks paired with a cream colored lace top and shoes/jewelry yet to be determined are dressy enough for the gala. Nice looking skirts/dresses were elusive to me during my shopping spree this weekend. Mr. Tot will be wearing a tie, at least.

We Are the Red and White of...

Last night was one of my favorite evenings of every year; Fine Arts Night at my daughters’ grade school. Mimi is in 3rd grade and her class performed several songs from music class. Their music teacher has to be one of the most enthusiastic women I have ever seen. It is very apparent that she loves her job and adores our children; she is often brought to tears by their performances. You know how when you see a large cast of 9 year-olds singing songs there is inevitably the wise-ass boys who stand with scowls on their faces, arms crossed as their parents mouth across the gymnasium, “SMILE AND SING”. Not for this teacher. I am not exaggerating when I state every kid up there was singing their hearts out, doing the silly arm movements and wide-eyed expressions. It was awesome. They begin every performance with the Star Spangled Banner and end it with The Small Town Fight Song.

Doody’s class, 5th grade, didn’t perform musically last night, but she did get to show off some of her art projects. This quarter they worked on African masks. I was able to pick hers out quickly. Next week she will be performing at the Spring Band concert, she plays the flute.

Mimi’s clay project was the biggest one on the table; it’s a gargoyle. I can’t wait to get this one home to add to my collection, proudly displayed in our living room.

Looking at these pictures of my girls I feel so incredibly proud of the magnificent, bright and creative young ladies they are becoming (and slightly sad for the little girls I am beginning to see fade away).

Just so SugarLips doesn't feel left out, here is a pic of him creating some art of his own...

Easy Like Sunday Mornin'

Can anything ever be easy?

My parents are moving. The buying and selling of homes for them has been a complete nightmare from day one. I will spare you all the details, but here are some highlights from the past nine months.

• We spend six weeks and they spend $8,000 getting their log cabin with two barns, two corrals, one shed and 8+ wooded acres ready. They put it on the market.
• My parents make an offer with a contingency on a great house. Their cabin still had no offers. They lost the great house to someone else.
• My parents make an offer with a contingency on another great house. Their cabin still had no offers. They lost the great house to someone else.
• Their cabin has an offer! The people are from Arizona and aren’t planning on moving to the Midwest for 6 months. They drag their feet. Closing dates change. Survey’s are requested. Closing dates change again. Earnest money is not sent. Closing dates change again.
• Cabin has showing after showing. Cleaning constantly. No more offers.
• My parents make an offer with a contingency on another great house. Their cabin has an offer, but no closing date. They lose great house after contract expires.
• My parents make an offer with contingency on another great house. Sellers won’t accept a contingency. They lose great house.
• My parents make an offer with contingency on another great house. Sellers won’t accept a contingency. They lose great house.
• My parents make an offer with no contingency on another great house. They will carry two mortgages if they have to. Closing on their new house scheduled for 3/17/06!
• Another offer on the cabin! A lawyer is now involved and tells Arizona people since their earnest money wasn’t sent, they broke contract. They lose cabin. New buyers have a contingency but it’s only for 30 days. Their condo sells quickly. This is going to happen!
• Packing, packing, packing. Every weekend.
• Cabin buyer’s bank has cabin appraised for loan and appraises value for $20,000 less than offer ($20,000 less than appraisal my parents had done 18 months ago). My parents pay for another appraisal that comes in $5,000 more than offer. Excitement sets in. Buyers call and say they want to change offer to less money due to low appraisal ($7,500 less to be exact). WHAT? My parents tell them they will drop original offer $3,000 only. They accept. Closing on cabin set for 3/31/06.

Will this really happen?

• Closing on parents new house scheduled for 1:30 p.m. on Friday, 3/17/06. New carpet for upstairs scheduled to be installed on Saturday morning while we load trucks at cabin. Sister Stephanie and I plan on painting three bedrooms Friday night, before carpet installed.

Will this really happen?

• My parents get a call last night. There is a snag in their loan for new house; will have to postpone closing a week, maybe two. Painting rescheduled. Carpeting rescheduled. The 15 people all planning to help with move this weekend are called and informed.

This has been such a horrible experience. On top of all of this, I had plans next Friday AND next Saturday night. I don’t want to reschedule them, but what do I do? Will the closing even happen? What if I move my plans back a week and the closing is moved again?

Don’t these people know I don’t tolerate drama very well?

The Harrowing Tale of Blackjack and the Tornado

The phone call came in at 8:35 p.m. last night. “Tornado, heading towards sister town may hit us”.

It had started raining over an hour ago but we thought nothing of it, kept playing cards, trying to grasp the bevy of rules being shared on how to play smart Blackjack. Going through my mind over and over again:

• 2’s & 3’s to 3: If the dealer is showing a 2 or 3, hit until you have at least 13, then stay.
• Double Down’s: If the dealer is showing 4, 5, or 6 double down 7, 8, 9 or 10. Always double down on 11.
• Splits: Never split an “F”; four, five or face. Always split 8’s, as long as the dealer isn’t showing a 9 or 10.
• 16: Sixteen never wins. Unless the dealer is showing a 4, 5 or 6 ALWAYS hit.
• Insurance: NEVER buy insurance unless you just bet every dime in your arsenal and don’t have a way home if you lose. Side Note: if you ever find yourself in this situation, here is the link to GA.

I'm sure there are more, but this is all I can recall this morning. Mr. Bombadee was winning, his betting strategy increasing his stack by leaps and bounds. After two winning hands in a row, increase your bet by half, continue with each subsequent win. After a loss, go back to your original bet and work you way back up. Lose three in a row, move to a new table. I quickly came to the conclusion that when we arrive in Vegas, my best gambling approach may be to just hand him all of my money and wait for my payout. To his credit, he was very patient as I kept calling to hit my 13 when the dealer was showing a 6. That was my typical hand all evening; 13. We started considering side bets on whether or not TaterTot would be dealt ANOTHER 13. I also believe I was the only player to not be blessed with a Blackjack all evening. My girls joined the fun and it was apparent to all that my nine-year-old daughter Mimi is a natural (good news?). Bombadee’s dream to be a casino dealer was obvious when she would say things like “Good luck with your Ace sir” and “Player showing a soft 17”.

Hard, soft, splits, double downs, insurance, comps, strategy, push, my head is spinning and knowledge is overflowing my brain, but I love it. I get more excited with each passing moment. Maybe this time, I won’t get so anxious and intimidated – I may actually sit down at a table and not feel like an arse the entire time.

We begin to wrap up our evening of good food and great friends. Mrs. BlahZeeBlah and Judo Boy left over an hour ago, hoping to get some precious time with Mr. BlahZeeBlah who had to miss the festivities due to work. Doody and Mimi have school tomorrow, LaLa and SugarLips are still going full force. The Bombadee’s are down in the driveway, about to head out when the phone rings. Mr. Tot hollers down, “Tornado, come back in”. Bombadee wonders why he is yelling at her about tomatoes. After a quick clarification, they come back in and we turn on the news. Tornado Warning, our area until 9:15 p.m. It’s still raining hard and Bombadee notes how it would stop if a tornado was close. My girls are nervous and keep asking if we should head to the basement. No, not yet (besides, my basement is a horrible, embarrassing mess and the thought of my friends going down there gives me more anxiety than an impending tornado). About 15 minutes later, we notice it stops raining, but the big red and fuscia spot on the weather channel is right on top of us. That’s odd. Then we hear it. THE TORNADO SIREN. Eyes widen, my girls begin crying looking for the cats. Mr. Bombadee swoops up SugarLips and heads to the basement with my dog to join the Mrs. and LaLa. Mr. Tot and I are closing blinds, looking for the damn cats. When he finally finds Bella Jane, she scratches the hell out of his arm on the way downstairs. Doesn’t she know he may be saving her life? I can tell Bombadee is nervous, her eyes indicate worry, her hands are kept in pockets to conceal their shaking, she keeps LaLa close and puts anything with glass aside, out of harms way. I can’t stop apologizing for my messy basement, even though I know my friends could care less.

After about 20 minutes or so, we get the all clear to head back up to continue watching the colors move across the counties on my TV screen. Since the storm is heading towards my friends small town, they decide to wait it out for awhile. I put my kids to bed, LaLa finally succumbs to overwhelming exhaust cuddled up in the booger sweater. We chat about looming events, discuss impending decisions, Mr. Bombadee dozes off and on. By 11:30, we all decide it is safe for our friends to head home.

No tornados, but we did discover that if we were ever to be in a natural disaster we would want the Bombadee's with us.

The Libertine

This looks like my genre of film; a passionate, period drama unapologetically riddled with sex and violence.


Now, if it would only play at a theatre around here, I may actually go see it.

Spicy Casseroles

Sorry it has taken me so long to get the Casserole pics from Saturday posted.

I am feeling sorry now as I look through these that I chose not to take my camera into the dance club we went to. You'll have to imagine the pics for that one...

Our Habenero's experience:

They offered a salsa bar with 15 different varieties ranging from sweet to savory to spicy. Several of us chose the spicy and were unprepared with our empty water glasses to cool the burn.

Fiesta Pie ordered the MOST AWESOME guacamole ever. They bring a cart with a large variety of ingredients for you to choose from and make it fresh.

The wandering guitarist took notice of our table and quickly headed over to flirt.

He took an immediate interest in Souffle, who shared the joyous news of her pregnancy.

Just when we thought we could eat no more, they brought a dessert cart over. Green Bean and I shared the flan. It was delicious.

The Casseroles.

Side Note: Deep Dish took out her lipstick and I declared, "That looks like a Silver Bullet". Several ladies giggled in agreement while other looked puzzled. Fiesta Pie will be having a Surprise Party soon for some much needed education.

Funny Girl

Do our movie choices and preferences say something about us?

A comment was made to me at work recently when I was clueless in a discussion on various modern day funny-ha-ha films.

“You don’t like comedies?”

It’s not that I don’t like comedies. I just find very few of them funny, for one thing. Old school comedies like Caddyshack, Young Frankenstein, Strange Brew, Animal House, Delirious, Airplane; these flicks are pee-your-pants funny to me. Yes I realize my choices make me sound like a 22 year old frat boy, but what can I say. I think what surprised them most about my dislike of comedies, is that I have always been somewhat considered a “funny girl”. I am always giggling and smiling and looking for my next opportunity to get a laugh. Wouldn’t it seem likely that I would gravitate towards funny movies? Not really.

I love to watch dramas, love stories, period films, fantasy, suspense thrillers, and mysteries. These movies are avenues of escapism for me. They inspire me and compel me to think. Period films like Dangerous Liaison’s, Empire of the Sun, Hamlet, Elizabeth, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Gone with the Wind with their sweeping cinematography and intricate costumes are feasts for my eyes. Fantasy films like The Lord the Rings, Legend, Conan the Barbarian, Excalibur, Willow, The Dark Crystal, The Neverending Story take me to worlds I don’t have the imagination required to create. Love stories for me aren’t the Sleepless in Seattle or Runaway Bride crap. They are The Color Purple, Moulin Rouge, Fried Green Tomatoes, As Good As It Gets, Quills, Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner. These movies speak love to me and touch my soul.

For the most part, I have a light-hearted and fun life. I prefer to surround myself with amusing, witty, optimistic, merry friends and keep it as drama-free as possible. Drama can arise from time to time, but I find that I don’t tolerate it well in my real life. It is what I prefer to escape to not from.

When it comes to funny-ha-ha, well…that is what I strive for everyday in my life. My real life.

Hmmmm....

If this blog is called TaterTot's Thoughts and I have nothing to post today, does that mean I have no thoughts?

Yeah...I've got nothing.

Dancing with the Oscar's

Saturday evening was spent enjoying time with my peeps, The Casseroles. We dined at a wonderful Mexican restaurant, Habenero’s. Bombadee has a post with all of the nitty gritty and I concur with her entirely. I forgot my camera today, so pics will have to be posted tomorrow (sorry ladies). Two great things I would like to note from the evening, both personal:

• The first Casserole meeting was in the summer of ’05. I remember dancing that evening; or more specifically how I would shake my thang no more than two songs at a time before being so winded and having legs that felt like wavering rubber telling me I couldn’t continue. I would often sit on the sidelines feeling woeful as my thinner, healthier friends carried on. Not anymore. This past Saturday night, I danced and danced and danced and danced. The heart pounding house music filled my limbs and assured me no rest was needed. We were at this club 2 1/2 hours, I am not kidding when I proclaim TaterTot danced two of them.
• As Bombadee and I approached each other on the dance floor, our breasts met (there’s a visual for you – imagine sparks flew or something). Now this may seem odd to some of you, but to me it translates to this: “As Bombadee and I approached each other on the dance floor, my fat stomach was NOT the first thing to touch her.”

When I crawled out of bed Sunday morning and stood up, I thought my knees would buckle from beneath me. Apparently they aren’t used to 2+ hours of dancing.

Sunday evening SugarLips and I headed to Bombadee’s for the Academy Awards. Jenny and I sat in her living room curled up in our comfy clothes under blankets as the kids ran circles and Dan moved from place to place with his laptop and earphones. While I could type endlessly on all we watched and discussed, at this time I will only note the following:

• When Sugar and I arrived and walked through the massive doors, he and his beloved LaLa’s eyes met across the room. He yelled, “LaLa” and she responded, “Iz-kak”. They ran towards each other, arms wide open, meeting halfway and embraced. Jenny and I smiled as she said, “That could have only been better if they were in a meadow or something.”
• Dolly Parton, who I adore, looks like a bobble head. It’s the only way I can describe it. Her waist, legs and arms are so thin that her head looks too big for her body. Jenny said she looked like a couple of marshmallows on toothpicks in her white suit. We both reminisced on this gorgeous, voluptuous woman we remember from 9 to 5 and Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. Where did she go?
• Jon Stewart rocks. Enough said.
• Russell Crow is the only cool cat of the modern day that can pull off a pompadour.
• Meryl Streep’s skin looks like creamy porcelain.
• As Jenny and I watched the multiple movie montages, we realized how many movies we still haven’t seen (Crash, A History of Violence) or want to share with each other (Being John Malkovich, The Color Purple). We thought, how fun would it be to have a monthly movie night? We can take turns picking a film and have popcorn and wine, followed by in depth discussions and pompous declarations on a films importance in society. This would be right up Mr. BlahZeeBlah’s alley. Then reality set in. If we establish one more “monthly get together” we might as well all move into a compound or something.

Who's That?

Mimi and I were were having a blast reminiscing last night as we went through photo boxes. She is the "Student of the Week" and needed to take in pictures of herself and her family.

Suddenly I came across something that made my stomach turn. Then another. Then another.

Who IS that?
Is that ME?
Did I look like THAT?

Yes, to my horror, these are all me. At my heaviest. I have made progress, but have become complacent. I arrived at 193 months ago and stopped. It's time to go again. Jennie's Journey is once again in full swing.

40 pounds to go.

My Magnificent Mimi

Nine years ago, to the minute, you appeared.


You are a light that shines on those around you.
You are a beautiful, enchanted and whimsical spirit.
You are a gift.
I love you.
Happy Birthday.

Wazoo Weekend

We, as usual, have weekend plans coming out our wazoo’s. Most of our upcoming weekends already have at least one “event”, some of them have several.

Saturday:
10:00 a.m. – Picked up by parents to photograph their new house. Deliver Girl Scout cookies to out of town family.
7:00 p.m. – Hockey game with Bombadee’s and Blahzeeblah’s

Sunday:
8:30 a.m. – Breakfast with parental units, Sister Stephanie and Boyfriend Brian
10:00 a.m. – Girl Scout scrapbooking with Mimi (each Scout creates a memory book)
1:30 p.m. – Mimi’s Birthday Swim Party with her friends
5:00 p.m. – Mimi’s Birthday dinner with my family

Who am I kidding? I always complain how it would be so nice to have a weekend with nothing to do, but am sure I would be bored.

Upcoming Events Include:
Mimi’s Family Party (another side of the family)
Fine Arts Night at Doody’s School
Casseroles (Woo-Hoo!)
Dinner Party at Our House
Library Benefit/Gala
Moving Parental Units (this should take the entire weekend)

Blahzeeblah Production Company's First Indie Film

Bombadee suggested to me yesterday how our lives/relationships over the past several months would make an interesting film. The plot would focus on friendships marred by a fine tapestry of deceit and web of lies leading to a climatic ending. We would market it as inspired by true events, allowing us to append (make up) what we want and avoid lawsuits. She did note “all we need in there is a murder an explosion and a sexy lesbian kiss somewhere”. Now that's what I'm talking about.

Next we started to cast our film. Bombadee made some suggestions and I came up with some picks. Our characters to cast would be:

• Mrs. Bombadee: the often misunderstood and conflicted main character who is forced to make some life altering choices and defend not only herself but her friends and family when they find themselves in peril; she evolves from tree-hugging hippie to bicep-flexing heroine
• Mr. Bombadee: the intelligent politician with a no-nonsense attitude and passion for fantasy games, historical wars and breasts; he is an expert in the Vulcan Death Grip and trivia games
• TaterTot: the funny sidekick who is conflicted between telling it like she sees it and being everyone’s friend; she eventually makes a decision and discovers her inner superhero
• Mr. TaterTot: the handsome and quiet husband who saves the day at the last moment by defusing a bomb and ends the film with the funniest one-liner ever heard
• Mrs. Blahzeeblah: the sanest character in the film who provides and grounding point and sense of stability to the others
• Mr. Blahzeeblah: the geeky former marine who may seem like a jokester, but when push comes to shove opens a serious can of whoop-ass to save the day while using off the wall phrases and bad karate movie lingo; provides much needed comic relief
• Brother Joe: Bombadee’s brother who fills in the missing pieces of another character’s past
• The Duchess: our films antagonist who eventually goes off the deep end and uses the Internet as her virtual partner in destruction and death; as the credits roll, you hear her evil laugh "MWAAAA-HA-HA-HA" leading the audience to believe she survived the car explosion, bridge collapse, 120-foot fall and shark infested waters (this leaves open the possibility for a sequel as well)
• The Cowboy: this character is not cast as he is never actually seen, only referred to; by the end of the film, the audience is left not knowing if he is real or a figment of another characters imagination…

Here are the actors I chose to play the above characters with the exception of The Cowboy and TaterTot. Any guesses on who I chose to play whom?

Number 8 is left blank as TaterTot was a difficult character to cast. After asking for suggestions at work, this is the pool of choices we put together. Which is your pick?

We also need a title for our film....

*Disclaimer: All character references in this post are meant to be humorous. Mr. Bombadee cannot perform the Vulcan Death Grip nor can my husband difuse a bomb. And, I'm pretty sure the midwest does not house any shark-infested waters. With that said, I hope you enjoyed it.

The Tale of Two Haircuts

Please note dear readers, although I believe I am down to one or two who actually read my blog at this point, I purchased my first digital camera fifteen days ago (isn't is amazing what can happen in 15 days by the way?). I am taking pictures non stop. Mr.'s Bombadee and Blazeeblah can attest to this based on my annoying, insatiable need to snap a picture every ten seconds on Saturday night. Please be patient with me as I work through my new found obsession to capture and post more than you really want to see whether it be my chit-lins, my friends, my pets, my house, my co-workers...whatever.

My offering today: The Tale of Two Haircuts

SugarLips before:

During the actual haircut, this expression never left his face and he barely moved:

He finally caught his reflection in the mirror and smiled:

SugarLips After:

Doody before:

Doody After - she was going for an "older look", I think it worked:

Mama Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys...

Yippie Ki-Yay!

33 and Lovin' It

New shirt to wear to birthday celebration: $14.95

Dinner, appetizer, dessert and drinks at Japanese hibachi restaurant: $94.35

Bar tab at small local watering hole where Bombadee and I danced: $38.00

Pictures of me and my friends having a good time on my birthday: Priceless

Jennie, It's Mom...Call Me Right Away...Jim's Been In An Accident...

This is the voicemail we all fear. I was checking mine Thursday at 7:30 p.m. on the way home from the kids haircut appointments and this is what I hear. I call back Mom, hoping it’s a joke. It’s not. He was heading down 64 in his pickup at 6:30 p.m. when a car slid through an intersection on the black ice. T-Bone. He calls my Mom, who is still in her office at work and says, “I’m hurt, I’m hurt, call an ambulance.” She calls 911 and insists the ambulance take him to the hospital we both work at, it is a Level I Trauma Center. They say no, they are taking him to the smaller town hospital that is closer. She waits in her office, unable to drive the 60 minutes until she calms down. Sister Stephanie is informed, she is on her way to the ER. When he arrives and my Mom finally gets an update she is told, by the treating ER doctor, that Jim is alert but has a probable broken pelvis and multiple extremity fractures – both legs, both arms and his left hand. Devastation. This is the update I am hearing as my car is heading to the small town hospital treating my broken step-father, all three children in the backseat. Devastation. My girls are crying. “Will PaPa be okay?” I struggle with how to answer. “I hope so.”

My next update comes five minutes later. Mom is hysterical. The small town hospital can’t handle him, he needs a Level I Trauma center. Jim is being transferred. I turn the car around and begin heading to his new location. Thankfully, Aunt Teenie Weenie calls me and asks where I am, where am I going? I’m in a stupor. “I’m just driving. I don’t know.” She calmly tells me to go get Jeff from work, take him and the kid’s home and head to the hospital slowly and carefully. This is what I do. I arrive at the ER around 9:30 p.m. to find my Mom, Sister Stephanie, Boyfriend Brian and friend Logan sitting, waiting. He’s not there yet. A short time later, my Mom makes an inquiry with the front desk. The small town hospital wouldn’t drive him, he is too critical. Weather and icy conditions did not allow the helicopter to get him. Our hospital had to send a trauma team in their own ambulance to pick him up. Devastation.

To make a long story shorter, we finally are told at 12:30 a.m., after many tests, that he has no broken bones. He is held overnight for observation. We are relieved. Then we are angry. Why were we told he had a probable broken pelvis and multiple extremity fractures? This is apparently explained by the fact that Jim was hit by a car 20+ years ago and broke both arms and both legs. They “looked” at his extremities and diagnosed fractures based on the deformities he has been living with for years. I have always been under the impression that is what radiology is for since x-ray vision is still in beta. The first ambulance’s insistence to take him to the small town hospital delayed his treatment by 5 hours. The accident was at 6:30 p.m.; he was finally given pain relief, treatment and properly diagnosed at 11:30 p.m. It’s hard to stay angry, because he is okay. But, for several hours on Thursday night, we were devastated.