The Reckless Chicken

I have, in the past, referred to myself as a “Reckless Chicken”. Can I be reckless at times? For sure. Am I a total chicken when it comes to what seems to be silly everyday things? Absolutely.

For instance:.

• I will take on the 6 foot Amazon woman in the bar who just called my friend at bitch; but become paralyzed with fear, shrieking for Mr. Tot to rescue me at the site of a spider in the bathtub.
• I drive my ATV at dangerous speeds, up steep, rocky hills without a second thought (I’ve only been in one semi-serious crash); but blubbered like a baby the last time a “friend” talked me into riding a rollercoaster (yes, I literally cried as the coaster left the station).
• In elevators, I tend to be the jerk who thinks it’s funny to jump up and down, rocking the entire box as everyone else turns white and tells me I’m not being funny; but have come close to actually amputating Mr. Tot’s hand with my death-grip as our plane takes off or lands.

Why is that? I do know that I have an issue with heights which explains my dislike for roller coasters, bungee jumping, flying, etc. Sometimes I think it’s a control issue. If I’m in what I perceive to be control, I’m more at ease with whatever it is I’m doing. I love speed, as long as I get to control the gas and the brakes; but am also conscious of the severity of consequences and do practice safety precautions most of the time. I don’t get drunk and ride an ATV, my kids are helmet required, I’ve been known to stop my bike mid-hill and slowly roll down when I’ve gotten in over my head or misjudged the bikes ability to make it up without flipping up over my head.

I enjoy driving motorcycles very much, though I don’t have a bike or Class M license so I don’t indulge often. There a few people I will ride on the back of a motorcycle with. Boyfriend Brian is one of them and I had the opportunity for my first pony ride with him on the Harley this weekend. Since I hadn’t preplanned my ride, I was not prepared. I had no helmet, was wearing flip-flops, and huge gold fishing-lure-looking earrings. The ride starts off nice; we’re in my parent’s Tiny Town for a family graduation gathering and are slowly navigating from block to block. Then we take a turn for the highway. Brian tells me to hold as tight as I need to and I take this as forewarning and interlock my fingers. I had forgotten how quickly a Harley can go from 30 to 65 mph. My earrings are slapping the side of my head so violently they must be leaving marks, but I decide not to worry about it. I don’t dare let go of my pilot and I’m sure the earrings will rip from my earlobes in a moment anyway (at least they were cheap). He asks if I’m enjoying the ride and I have trouble talking with the wind filling my entire mouth and spit flying with each syllable. “YEAH ~spit~….IT’S GREAT ~saliva~!” (I’m lying; I’m too full of pride to admit I’m scared to death). He asks me if I want to go fast. Fast? I look at the speedometer and we’re going 65mph. “NO ~spit~….THIS IS ~saliva~ FAST ENOUGH FOR ME…~spit~ THANKS ~spit~.” We, of course, made it back to the gathering safely intact. I do trust Brian (and his skill/experience) wholeheartedly, and would be comfortable with him taking my girls for a pony ride in town, with their helmets on.

So, is it my age/maturity that made me painfully aware the entire time we were on that highway that if there was some unexpected gravel in the road or an idiot pulled out in front of us we will be organ donors? Have I lost my reckless edge? Is it possible to be “smartly reckless” or would that be considered an oxymoron?

Random Thought Consolidation

I take two steps forward, you take two steps back: Richard Petty.

Schweaty Man tells me how when the Dixie Chicks are on the radio or TV he promptly changes channels, but was first in line to see Tom Cruise's MI3.

All Senegal needs now is some spandex, sequined lightening bolts and vein-pumping, saliva-producing language skills.

Hey Bombadees, Blahzeeblah's, PunkyMom's...interested in a "friendly" vacation next year?

Cheater, cheater donut eater.

I'll add more throughout the day...if anything proves interesting enough to share.

The Casseroles Downtown Bar Tour

Our evening began at this wonderful Italian joint with the best pizza (and prices) ever! We ordered an antipasti tray overflowing with cheese, meat, veggies and dip, a fruit tray with the sweetest melon I've had all year, two mixed drinks, one carafe of Chianti that filled about 9 glasses of wine, and two medium pizza's. The bill came to a mere $65.00. What's not to love about that?

We then walked a few blocks to this little, over priced, hoity-toity bistro for a martini. While the cocktails were expensive they were also delicious.

GreenBean & Hamburger

Fiesta Pie, with Chocolatini

TaterTot's Limsickle Martini, with Andrew

We then decided to go play some pool at a local hall down the street when we encountered one of the most stunning women I have ever seen in the street, wearing head to toe red (literally). She asked where we were going and convinced us to step inside this small Itailian joint to hear some jazz. Best advice all night. We sat for awhile listening to a wonderful jazz trio and the smoky sounds of The Lady in Red's vocals, while enjoying a $6 pitcher of beer.

Green Bean with the GORGEOUS Deep Dish

TaterTot with The Lady in Red

With pool still on our minds, we headed down to State & Madison and rented a table. I lost every game I played to either Green Bean or Deep Dish...I blame the martini for being "off".

The Much Fuller Right...

(And I thought the word "right" would never be used in a sentence to describe Mrs. Bombadee.)

Coming Attractions: Casseroles: Guess That Tattoo, Casseroles: Guess Those Panites & Casseroles Cleavage: Butt or Boobs?

Picture Tour

Where I have been?

Where haven't I been in the past week feels like the more appropriate question? Life is going at a rapid pace these days and luckily my camera has tagged along.

First, Boyfriend Brian graduated with his Bachelors of Science in Finance from NIU:

Sister Stephanie and Boyfriend Brian

Then, my Sister Sara came home from Arizona for a visit and we planted a huge family garden:

Sister Sara's Ass

SugarLips with Poppy's

Then, Doody performed in the 5th & 6th Grade Spring Concert:

Doody, with Flute

Sugar and Mimi

Sister Stephanie graduated with her Bachelors of Science in Health Science from Benedictine University. She heads to St. Ambrose University in the fall to obtain her Doctorate of Physical Therapy.

Sister Sara, Sister Stephanie and TaterTot

Mimi, The Graduate, Doody

We then celebrated Sister Stephanie's 22nd birthday where I thought I was the coolest sister EVER for buying her four pair of kick-ass pumps:

But was surpassed by Sister Sara's gift of a round-trip ticket to visit her in Arizona:

Doody with Aunt Sara

I did download the pictures from our Casseroles evening and let's just say some real careful consideration needs to be put into what will and what will not be shared with the entire world (or at least the dozen or so people who read this blog). Here is a sample to wet your appetite:

Out of Office....

Sorry I haven't posted, I've been "Out of the Office" for a few days. Sister Stephanie graduated college (Part I) and Sister Sara was in from Arizona so I took some time off.

Updates to come...stay tuned.

A fortune of one that means less for some ...

World on Fire, excerpt:

The world's on fire and
It's more than I can handle
I'll tap into the water
(I try to pull my ship)
I try to bring more
More than I can handle
(Bring it to the table)
Bring what I am able

Sara McLachlan's inspiring video.

Got a Suggestion?

With my new NetFlix membership in full swing, I have been adding movies in my queue for future viewing. Here is what I have as of this post:

Now some of you who know me will see a few selections specifically for the girls; Mean Girls and 13 Going on 30. Some Jeff added today; Jarhead and The Longest Yard. A few I added as "rights of passage" for my kids; Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure and Time Bandits. One was chosen as a direct result of the Bombadee's insistance it is "pee your pants funny"; Old School. Others are simply movies I want to see; The Pillow Book (Ewan...yummy!), Brokeback Mountain (the movie that started this whole thing) and Derailed.

Does anyone else have a suggestion for me? I'm not a big fan of modern day comedies, but am willing to give one a try if you make a good case for it.

Psst...She's In With The Gays

It was a typical Friday evening. I leave work, pick up the girls from E.T. and am on my way to get the SugarLips. That’s when I made the decision that would forever change my reputation in the Small Smug Town. “Let’s rent movies”, I said. The girls and I detour to our local movie rental establishment and begin to peruse the selection. Nanny McPhee is out. Damn. Doody and Mimi, following a heated debate and negotiation, settle on Yours, Mine and Ours. I decide I can choose something more adult themed to watch after they go to bed. Hmmmm. What to pick. Oh, look…there’s Derailed. I would like that movie I bet. On my way to the check-out counter I suddenly realize there is another flick I’ve been meaning to see and head back to the New Selections area so I can grab it; Brokeback Mountain. Scanning, scanning, scanning…that’s odd…I don’t see it. At the check out desk, this is the conversation that occurred:

TaterTot: Played by Jennie
Check-Out Girl: Played by a petite 16 year-old girl in a logo’d golf shirt and khaki pants
Check-Out Woman: Played by a middle aged woman with a bad haircut and baggy logo’d sweatshirt

TaterTot (handing her selections and debit card to Check-Out Girl): I didn’t see Brokeback Mountain.

Check-Out Girl: We don’t have that movie.

TaterTot: When will you be getting it in?

Check-Out Girl: We’re not.

TaterTot: Why not?

Check-Out Girl (looking pensive and slightly frightened, turns to Check-Out Woman): She’s asking why we don’t have Brokeback Mountain.

Check-Out Woman: Yeah, there are just so many movies released, we simply can’t get them all. I mean, thousands of movies come out every month, it’s impossible to keep up and offer all of them. So, yeah, we didn’t get that movie.

TaterTot: I don’t assume you would be able to get them all; but this was a significant, Oscar winning film last year. It seems odd to me that it wouldn’t be on your shelf.

Check-Out Woman: Yeah, we don’t have that movie.

TaterTot: Will you be getting it?

Check-Out Woman: We’re not getting THAT movie.

TaterTot (now speaking with a more pronounced voice so the crowd that has gathered can hear her): Is it because there are gay men in it?

Check-Out Woman (wide-eyed, not knowing what else to say): We’re not getting THAT movie.

TaterTot (fire in her belly now raging, but still managing a civil tone): I rented the movie Bound here. To my knowledge it wasn't a very popular, main stream film, it didn’t win any Academy Awards and has a steamy lesbian sex scene in it. So are you saying this establishment feels it's okay to offer movies with two girls having sex but not a movie with gay men?

At this point there is a strange silence that seemed like minutes but was more likely seconds long. Check-Out Girl has been just holding my debit card throughout the conversation and now goes to swipe it. I interrupt her.

TaterTot: Please give me my card, I don’t want the movies anymore. I won’t be coming back.

The girls and I had a talk in the car about what had occurred and why we didn’t get any movies. After I answered all of their questions, my soon-to-be-11-year-old told me, “Mom, I don’t think we should get movies there anymore either. People shouldn’t hate other people just because of who they want to love. That would be like not liking me because I have green eyes.”

The world can change one mind at a time. I’m joining NetFlix today.

“We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the vitrolic words and actions of the bad people but for the appalling silence of the good people.” -Martin Luther King Jr.

To All the Phenomenal Women, Happy Day

The Birth of Venus, Botticelli

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

-Maya Angelou

Tot Needs Your Help: Profile Pics

I have decided I should post a pic of some kind to go with my blogger profile. So many of the blogs I read and comment on every day use them, and I find it easy to identify "regulars" by their chosen pic. At first I was wanting to maintain my anonymity, but have realized there are so many pics of me posted on this and Bombadee's site it rather pointless. (Plus, the pics are my favorite part).

So here I am this morning going through folders of pictures and can I find even one that I like? Hell no. Therefore, I think I will take a vote. Which of the following do you like best?

Choice A (this is the one I am using now)





Choice B









Choice C








Choice D









Choice E










Choice F







Choice G








Choice H










Choice I








Ok, ok...so choices D & G aren't me (they're my Sister Stephanie)...a girl can pretend can't she.

A Moment of Silence Please...

Five Reasons I Love Chris Daughtry:

1. His unapologetic vibrato.
2. His stage presence: I often channel surf as contestants reach mid-song, Chris commanded my attention.
3. He married a single mom with two kids and when asked what his proudest moment has been he replied, "Teaching my son to ride a bike." Not his step-son, his son. Coming from a family of so many steps you can reach the third floor, this tells me a lot about someone.
4. His song choices and ability to successfully sing such a wide variety always managing to put his own spin on them: I Walk the Line, What a Wonderful World, Suspicious Minds, Hemmorhage.
5. His aesthetics, I am a heterosexual female afterall. The man exudes confidence, which is incredibly sexy. I love a man who can pull off a variety of facial hair styles like that (when Mr. Bombadee grows the 70's porkchop sideburns, I always do a double-take). His smile. His bald head. His ass. When that man puts on a pair of jeans, tight t-shirt and leather wrist cuff he is seriously "Rockken with Dokken". Damn.

Introducing the New Blahzeeblah

Karaoke Gone Terribly Wrong

Bombadee, PunkyMom and I are:

a. screaming in fear as PunkyMom morph’s into a red-eyed monster intent on sucking out our brains
b. about to give birth
c. panicking at the announcement “last call”
d. singing “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” at Bombadee's birthday celebration
e. reacting to the news George W. is trying to overturn the 22nd Amendment

I am beginning to reconsider whether or not my camera will be joining us in Vegas this September.

* Side Note: Thanks to Mr. Blahzeeblah and Mr. Bombadee for pointing out the spelling error on my cake decorating post last week. Apparently Tolkien is not spelled phonetically.

George W.

I'm sorry, I know this is a "family site"... but are your fucking kidding me?

Read this.

Every Voice Counts...Be One of the Million

Stop Genocide, Save Darfur

For more information, click here.

Follow Up Pics...

The taskbar...


Doody's 4-H Grand Prize winning Fishbowl cake...

Countries of the Middle East...

This Is TaterTot, Can I Help You?

For those of you who may not know, I work at a healthcare organizations I.T. Helpdesk. Problem with your computer or one of the hundreds of applications we utilize? Call TRAC (Technology Resource Assistance Center), and you may get me. As is the case for most IT departments, we are located in the basement; no windows, gray paint, millions of cords hanging from desks and along floors. There are four of us who actually answer the phones, troubleshoot calls, resolve issues or escalate them to the PC Technicians. The ever popular Schweaty Man is the PC Tech who sits directly across from me. At any given time, I will have 10-12 windows open on my computer, several PC’s on my desk in the process of being imaged and a large cup of coffee. This is my desk (that's Schweaty Man in the background):

To pass time between calls, if there is any, we will often partake in The Rubberband Wars. Open my top desk drawer and you will find some of my necessities; oatmeal, lotion, cold medicine and arsenal of ammo.

These are pictures of me 40 pounds heavier that I have posted on the printer right next to me. It reminds me to say decline the assembly line of donuts, bagles, cake, cookies, etc.

I would like to recommend NOT saying any of the following if you should ever call TRAC and get me on the phone:

TRAC: Good morning, TRAC, this is Jennie, can I help you?
a. I don’t know, can you?
b. I certainly hope so.
c. Pfffft….probably not.

USER: So if my computer isn’t working, do I get to go home?

TRAC: Let me remote in and see what you’re seeing. What’s your PC name?
a. Bob
b. Fred
c. I call it a big pile of sh…

I would also like to recommend to anyone who wants to work in a modern day health system, you learn the following basic terms/phrases/actions:

• Mouse: Right Click, Double Click
• Monitor (no, we don’t call it a TV screen)
• Window: Close, Minimize, Maximize
• Toolbar: Dropdown Menu
• Taskbar
• Username/Password: Case Sensitive, Alpha-Numeric, Minimum

Trust me, you’d be surprised with some of the calls I get.

Stupid Is As Stupid Does: Part II

MSNBC.com has an article titled "Young Americans shaky on geographic smarts: Study finds that many fare poorly at finding Louisiana and Iraq on a map". It cited a study that indicated, in part, the following for Americans between the ages of 18 and 24:

• One-third of respondents couldn’t pinpoint Louisiana on a map and 48 percent were unable to locate Mississippi.
• Fewer than three in 10 think it important to know the locations of countries in the news and just 14 percent believe speaking another language is a necessary skill.
• Two-thirds didn’t know that the earthquake that killed 70,000 people in October 2005 occurred in Pakistan.
• Six in 10 could not find Iraq on a map of the Middle East.
• While the outsourcing of jobs to India has been a major U.S. business story, 47 percent could not find the Indian subcontinent on a map of Asia.
• While Israeli-Palestinian strife has been in the news for the entire lives of the respondents, 75 percent were unable to locate Israel on a map of the Middle East.
• Nearly three-quarters incorrectly named English as the most widely spoken native language.
• Six in 10 did not know the border between North and South Korea is the most heavily fortified in the world. Thirty percent thought the most heavily fortified border was between the United States and Mexico.

There was a link to a geography quiz; I missed two. I’m hoping that only makes me “kinda dumb”.

I found a blank map of the Middle East and was able to locate Iraq, Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Turkey, Israel and Iran but admittedly didn’t know all of the surrounding countries. Here is a quick quiz for all of my readers.

Identify the 10 Middle East countries below. They are: Syria, Iran, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Jordan, Kuwait, Lebanon, Turkey and Israel.

Gravity's A Bitch

What goes up...

Must come down...

The Incredible Edible Middle Earth Map

Sister Stephanie had two choices for her final in Tolken and Fantasy Literature class: a “project” or a ten-page paper comparing Tolken works with Christianity. It goes without saying she chose the project. A past project the professor gave as example was an incredibly detailed and professional looking travel brochure for Middle Earth. Well, my sister came up with this brilliant idea to create a map of Middle Earth entirely out of food. Huh? She calls and asks for my help and I hesitantly agree; she is my sister after all. We are set to begin work on her project when I ask how and with what we are putting this all together. Steph begins to describe this massive poster board covered with Rice Krispie mountain ranges and broccoli forests. Again I say aloud…huh? I convince her this idea will not work. She will end up with a massive mess of wilted broccoli, hot glue and sticky marshmallows that looks as if my 9-year old worked on it for her 3rd grade science fair. Actually, I take that back…I don’t want to insult my 9-year old.

We consult the one person I know who can give us something creative and Tolken: Mr. Blahzeeblah. He conjures wonderful ideas of PowerPoint presentations and satire political ads ala John Stewart. These are great, but our time and resources are limited and I’m not sure we could pull them off in our planned Saturday morning allotment; back to the drawing board. Stephanie also mentions she has already turned in her “edible map” project and it was approved by the professor; she isn’t sure it would be okay to show up with something entirely different. That’s when all of my Betty Crocker, 4-H, Home Ec, Girl Scout, mother of three juices kicked in. When all else fails, bake a cake.

It took four 9 by 13 sheet cakes on a 20” by 30” blue poster board to create it; blue representing the water of course. The coastline was meticulously carved to realistic perfection. Mountain ranges created by Hershey’s kisses, chocolate peanut clusters, and chocolate stars. Please note the edible white decorative confectioners spray for the snowy mountain tops. Forests and rivers were painstakingly brought to fruition with frosting applied by a variety of tips and star techniques. The brown landscape color took several attempts to perfect by combining red, green and yellow food dye. Lava for Mount Doom was made with frosting colored bright red and zapped in the microwave for 10 seconds to thin it out enough for that flowing-lava look.

Next came the hard part; how to label all of the landmarks, regions and kingdoms. I am not gifted in the art of the written word in frosting, plus there are so many they would never fit. Then it hit me; toothpicks, a hot glue gun, construction paper, a candle and a Sharpie (MacGyver would be so proud; imagine what I could do with a paperclip, tampon and some hand lotion). We constructed approximately 70 land markers for everything from The Shire to Minas Tirith to Mount Doom. The edges were burned for that fiery Lord of the Rings look. My kids were flabbergasted at the notion it was okay to burn paper at the kitchen table, and I have had several conversations since that it is an adult-only activity.

Here it is, the final product:

The Incredible Edible Middle Earth Map




I called Sister Stephanie a couple of days later to see how it went when she turned it in. The cake was a hit. Her professor told her it was one of the most creative projects she has ever seen. She requested several photos to add to her “Student Project Portfolio” and called the other department professors to see it before the class dug in. It was a cake after all, and apparently Middle Earth is quite moist and delicious.

We earned an A.