Sorry I haven’t posted in a while, the House of Tot has been busier then usual of late. Since it has been some time since you’ve all heard from me, I thought I come back with a bang…
My brain has been mulling the concept of
feminism for several weeks. I’ve been reading a
site Bombadee led me to for a while now and it’s seriously messing with my brain (beware to link clickers…this
site has some NSFW images on the front page today, send the kiddos away if you follow). Let’s start here…
Wikipedia states this:
“In simple terms, feminism is the belief in social, political and economic equality of the sexes, and a movement organized around the belief that gender should not be the pre-determinant factor shaping a person's social identity or socio-political or economic rights.”
I can stand behind that statement wholeheartedly. It goes on to say:
“Modern feminist political activists commonly campaign on issues such as reproductive rights, including the right to safe, legal abortion, access to contraception and quality prenatal care, protection from violence within a domestic partnership, sexual harassment, street harassment, discrimination and rape, and rights to maternity leave, and equal pay.”
I can stand behind that statement as well, but do feel the need to explain my thoughts/beliefs on some the items individually as they may differ from yours.
I agree with a woman’s right to safe, legal abortion. I also believe life begins with pregnancy, medically defined
“as beginning when the developing embryo becomes implanted into the endometrial lining of a woman's uterus.” Some may say these statements contradict one another, but I can’t stand behind the idea that at 23 weeks gestation it’s a viable baby, but at 22 weeks 6 days gestation it’s an inviable fetus. So yes, I believe life begins with pregnancy but also stand behind a woman’s right to make the choice to end said pregnancy within the limits of the law. Call me an oxymoron.
I agree with a woman’s right to have access to contraception and quality prenatal care. Unfortunately, I see this right ignored by women everyday where I live. Who should take responsibility for that? When do we stop blaming “the man” for the choices we make?
I agree with a women’s right to protection from violence within a domestic partnership. I struggle however with my
“hit me once shame on you, hit me twice shame on me” way of thinking. I realize this statement has undertones of blaming the person being abused for their abuse which is not my intention…I don’t think. I struggle with my belief that we teach people how to treat us. How do I reconcile that belief against a woman who chooses to stay with a person who abuses her? Do I overestimate the choices some women have? How can I teach my daughters they have the power to make choices while women are overheard crying that they know he hits them and calls them nasty names and won’t let leave the house or get a job or give them money…but “I had no other choice and I love him” blah, blah, blah. I tell my girls not to give away their power to any man, that these women do have a choice and it’s too bad they don’t love themselves more. Wow…I didn’t realize I was so harsh until I actually typed that.
Sexual harassment, street harassment, discrimination and rape. These are issues we all need to stand up and campaign on for women and men. No mean no, no matter what I’m wearing, what I’ve drank, what drugs I’ve taken, whether we’re married or not, whether we’ve kissed, whether I’ve allowed you feel me up, whether I’ve performed oral sex on you…just because I put your dick in my mouth doesn’t give you the right to put it anywhere else you want to. If for any reason I’m unable to say no, then I’m unable to say yes. If we’ve started and I want you to stop, you have to stop. No means no, simple as that. There is no gray area for me when it comes to sexual violation. There are no choices allowed to be made. Rape is not giving away your power, it’s having it taken away from you. (Picture it…my fists are shaking in the air as I’m re-reading this paragraph)
I agree with the right for maternity leave for women. Why are men left in the cold here though? Physically I didn’t need six weeks to recovery from pregnancy, labor and delivery. I know some of my friends would disagree with that as their experiences were different, but that was my experience. Why did I get six weeks paid leave and Jeff had to suck up his entire vacation to have a measly five days off? I chose not to breastfeed, and even if I had six weeks isn’t sufficient for that reason alone so that can’t the reasoning behind the timeframe. My assumption is that maternity leave is intended for more than just physical recovery, so why aren’t men entitled to it too? Equality, right?
I believe in a woman’s right to equal pay. Easy…equal work = equal pay. How can anyone even argue that one with a straight face? What would they say…“I have a penis, therefore I deserve a higher hourly wage”…?
I suppose when I re-read this post (I'm about to click "Publish" and had the need to add this sentence) my path to equality has more to do re-educating women on what to ask for rather than re-educating men (or society) on what to give. The goal of course would be that we, as women, will someday no longer have to ask at all.
More to come…maybe …
