The Incredible Edible Middle Earth Map

Sister Stephanie had two choices for her final in Tolken and Fantasy Literature class: a “project” or a ten-page paper comparing Tolken works with Christianity. It goes without saying she chose the project. A past project the professor gave as example was an incredibly detailed and professional looking travel brochure for Middle Earth. Well, my sister came up with this brilliant idea to create a map of Middle Earth entirely out of food. Huh? She calls and asks for my help and I hesitantly agree; she is my sister after all. We are set to begin work on her project when I ask how and with what we are putting this all together. Steph begins to describe this massive poster board covered with Rice Krispie mountain ranges and broccoli forests. Again I say aloud…huh? I convince her this idea will not work. She will end up with a massive mess of wilted broccoli, hot glue and sticky marshmallows that looks as if my 9-year old worked on it for her 3rd grade science fair. Actually, I take that back…I don’t want to insult my 9-year old.

We consult the one person I know who can give us something creative and Tolken: Mr. Blahzeeblah. He conjures wonderful ideas of PowerPoint presentations and satire political ads ala John Stewart. These are great, but our time and resources are limited and I’m not sure we could pull them off in our planned Saturday morning allotment; back to the drawing board. Stephanie also mentions she has already turned in her “edible map” project and it was approved by the professor; she isn’t sure it would be okay to show up with something entirely different. That’s when all of my Betty Crocker, 4-H, Home Ec, Girl Scout, mother of three juices kicked in. When all else fails, bake a cake.

It took four 9 by 13 sheet cakes on a 20” by 30” blue poster board to create it; blue representing the water of course. The coastline was meticulously carved to realistic perfection. Mountain ranges created by Hershey’s kisses, chocolate peanut clusters, and chocolate stars. Please note the edible white decorative confectioners spray for the snowy mountain tops. Forests and rivers were painstakingly brought to fruition with frosting applied by a variety of tips and star techniques. The brown landscape color took several attempts to perfect by combining red, green and yellow food dye. Lava for Mount Doom was made with frosting colored bright red and zapped in the microwave for 10 seconds to thin it out enough for that flowing-lava look.

Next came the hard part; how to label all of the landmarks, regions and kingdoms. I am not gifted in the art of the written word in frosting, plus there are so many they would never fit. Then it hit me; toothpicks, a hot glue gun, construction paper, a candle and a Sharpie (MacGyver would be so proud; imagine what I could do with a paperclip, tampon and some hand lotion). We constructed approximately 70 land markers for everything from The Shire to Minas Tirith to Mount Doom. The edges were burned for that fiery Lord of the Rings look. My kids were flabbergasted at the notion it was okay to burn paper at the kitchen table, and I have had several conversations since that it is an adult-only activity.

Here it is, the final product:

The Incredible Edible Middle Earth Map




I called Sister Stephanie a couple of days later to see how it went when she turned it in. The cake was a hit. Her professor told her it was one of the most creative projects she has ever seen. She requested several photos to add to her “Student Project Portfolio” and called the other department professors to see it before the class dug in. It was a cake after all, and apparently Middle Earth is quite moist and delicious.

We earned an A.