My Magnificent Mimi

Nine years ago, to the minute, you appeared.


You are a light that shines on those around you.
You are a beautiful, enchanted and whimsical spirit.
You are a gift.
I love you.
Happy Birthday.

Wazoo Weekend

We, as usual, have weekend plans coming out our wazoo’s. Most of our upcoming weekends already have at least one “event”, some of them have several.

Saturday:
10:00 a.m. – Picked up by parents to photograph their new house. Deliver Girl Scout cookies to out of town family.
7:00 p.m. – Hockey game with Bombadee’s and Blahzeeblah’s

Sunday:
8:30 a.m. – Breakfast with parental units, Sister Stephanie and Boyfriend Brian
10:00 a.m. – Girl Scout scrapbooking with Mimi (each Scout creates a memory book)
1:30 p.m. – Mimi’s Birthday Swim Party with her friends
5:00 p.m. – Mimi’s Birthday dinner with my family

Who am I kidding? I always complain how it would be so nice to have a weekend with nothing to do, but am sure I would be bored.

Upcoming Events Include:
Mimi’s Family Party (another side of the family)
Fine Arts Night at Doody’s School
Casseroles (Woo-Hoo!)
Dinner Party at Our House
Library Benefit/Gala
Moving Parental Units (this should take the entire weekend)

Blahzeeblah Production Company's First Indie Film

Bombadee suggested to me yesterday how our lives/relationships over the past several months would make an interesting film. The plot would focus on friendships marred by a fine tapestry of deceit and web of lies leading to a climatic ending. We would market it as inspired by true events, allowing us to append (make up) what we want and avoid lawsuits. She did note “all we need in there is a murder an explosion and a sexy lesbian kiss somewhere”. Now that's what I'm talking about.

Next we started to cast our film. Bombadee made some suggestions and I came up with some picks. Our characters to cast would be:

• Mrs. Bombadee: the often misunderstood and conflicted main character who is forced to make some life altering choices and defend not only herself but her friends and family when they find themselves in peril; she evolves from tree-hugging hippie to bicep-flexing heroine
• Mr. Bombadee: the intelligent politician with a no-nonsense attitude and passion for fantasy games, historical wars and breasts; he is an expert in the Vulcan Death Grip and trivia games
• TaterTot: the funny sidekick who is conflicted between telling it like she sees it and being everyone’s friend; she eventually makes a decision and discovers her inner superhero
• Mr. TaterTot: the handsome and quiet husband who saves the day at the last moment by defusing a bomb and ends the film with the funniest one-liner ever heard
• Mrs. Blahzeeblah: the sanest character in the film who provides and grounding point and sense of stability to the others
• Mr. Blahzeeblah: the geeky former marine who may seem like a jokester, but when push comes to shove opens a serious can of whoop-ass to save the day while using off the wall phrases and bad karate movie lingo; provides much needed comic relief
• Brother Joe: Bombadee’s brother who fills in the missing pieces of another character’s past
• The Duchess: our films antagonist who eventually goes off the deep end and uses the Internet as her virtual partner in destruction and death; as the credits roll, you hear her evil laugh "MWAAAA-HA-HA-HA" leading the audience to believe she survived the car explosion, bridge collapse, 120-foot fall and shark infested waters (this leaves open the possibility for a sequel as well)
• The Cowboy: this character is not cast as he is never actually seen, only referred to; by the end of the film, the audience is left not knowing if he is real or a figment of another characters imagination…

Here are the actors I chose to play the above characters with the exception of The Cowboy and TaterTot. Any guesses on who I chose to play whom?

Number 8 is left blank as TaterTot was a difficult character to cast. After asking for suggestions at work, this is the pool of choices we put together. Which is your pick?

We also need a title for our film....

*Disclaimer: All character references in this post are meant to be humorous. Mr. Bombadee cannot perform the Vulcan Death Grip nor can my husband difuse a bomb. And, I'm pretty sure the midwest does not house any shark-infested waters. With that said, I hope you enjoyed it.

The Tale of Two Haircuts

Please note dear readers, although I believe I am down to one or two who actually read my blog at this point, I purchased my first digital camera fifteen days ago (isn't is amazing what can happen in 15 days by the way?). I am taking pictures non stop. Mr.'s Bombadee and Blazeeblah can attest to this based on my annoying, insatiable need to snap a picture every ten seconds on Saturday night. Please be patient with me as I work through my new found obsession to capture and post more than you really want to see whether it be my chit-lins, my friends, my pets, my house, my co-workers...whatever.

My offering today: The Tale of Two Haircuts

SugarLips before:

During the actual haircut, this expression never left his face and he barely moved:

He finally caught his reflection in the mirror and smiled:

SugarLips After:

Doody before:

Doody After - she was going for an "older look", I think it worked:

Mama Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys...

Yippie Ki-Yay!

33 and Lovin' It

New shirt to wear to birthday celebration: $14.95

Dinner, appetizer, dessert and drinks at Japanese hibachi restaurant: $94.35

Bar tab at small local watering hole where Bombadee and I danced: $38.00

Pictures of me and my friends having a good time on my birthday: Priceless

Jennie, It's Mom...Call Me Right Away...Jim's Been In An Accident...

This is the voicemail we all fear. I was checking mine Thursday at 7:30 p.m. on the way home from the kids haircut appointments and this is what I hear. I call back Mom, hoping it’s a joke. It’s not. He was heading down 64 in his pickup at 6:30 p.m. when a car slid through an intersection on the black ice. T-Bone. He calls my Mom, who is still in her office at work and says, “I’m hurt, I’m hurt, call an ambulance.” She calls 911 and insists the ambulance take him to the hospital we both work at, it is a Level I Trauma Center. They say no, they are taking him to the smaller town hospital that is closer. She waits in her office, unable to drive the 60 minutes until she calms down. Sister Stephanie is informed, she is on her way to the ER. When he arrives and my Mom finally gets an update she is told, by the treating ER doctor, that Jim is alert but has a probable broken pelvis and multiple extremity fractures – both legs, both arms and his left hand. Devastation. This is the update I am hearing as my car is heading to the small town hospital treating my broken step-father, all three children in the backseat. Devastation. My girls are crying. “Will PaPa be okay?” I struggle with how to answer. “I hope so.”

My next update comes five minutes later. Mom is hysterical. The small town hospital can’t handle him, he needs a Level I Trauma center. Jim is being transferred. I turn the car around and begin heading to his new location. Thankfully, Aunt Teenie Weenie calls me and asks where I am, where am I going? I’m in a stupor. “I’m just driving. I don’t know.” She calmly tells me to go get Jeff from work, take him and the kid’s home and head to the hospital slowly and carefully. This is what I do. I arrive at the ER around 9:30 p.m. to find my Mom, Sister Stephanie, Boyfriend Brian and friend Logan sitting, waiting. He’s not there yet. A short time later, my Mom makes an inquiry with the front desk. The small town hospital wouldn’t drive him, he is too critical. Weather and icy conditions did not allow the helicopter to get him. Our hospital had to send a trauma team in their own ambulance to pick him up. Devastation.

To make a long story shorter, we finally are told at 12:30 a.m., after many tests, that he has no broken bones. He is held overnight for observation. We are relieved. Then we are angry. Why were we told he had a probable broken pelvis and multiple extremity fractures? This is apparently explained by the fact that Jim was hit by a car 20+ years ago and broke both arms and both legs. They “looked” at his extremities and diagnosed fractures based on the deformities he has been living with for years. I have always been under the impression that is what radiology is for since x-ray vision is still in beta. The first ambulance’s insistence to take him to the small town hospital delayed his treatment by 5 hours. The accident was at 6:30 p.m.; he was finally given pain relief, treatment and properly diagnosed at 11:30 p.m. It’s hard to stay angry, because he is okay. But, for several hours on Thursday night, we were devastated.

Things That Have Surprised Me This Week

American Idol has beaten the Olympics in the ratings.

A conversation with my 10-year old daughter regarding boys. She received a bracelet and heart shaped box of chocolates from an admirer by the name of Eric. No other girls received a similar gift from Eric, only my Doody. As we are talking about this, she shares how Eric and his best friend both have crushes on her and have been fighting. She is hoping the best friend’s attentions will move to her friend Taylor to avoid any further conflict. I sit and listen to these tales calmly as my chest begins to ache with the thought of boys and my daughter, my daughter and boys. Thankfully when I asked her about having a boyfriend she said “I don’t think I’ll be ready until at least junior high”. I can breathe again, for now.

Vice President Dick Cheney’s declaration that the day he shot his friend in the face was the “one of the worst days of my life.” Personally I would think he should acknowledge it was one of the worst days of his friend’s life.

How easily I am able to liberate myself of a relationship gone sour. In the past it would have taken me months of gloom and guilt, trying to work it out. I went through that last year, I won’t do it again this year. I choose who to share my life with.

Turning 33 isn’t bothering me. Seriously.

I can still get jealous when it comes to my husband.

Someone who has unjustly labeled herself as a “fair weather friend”, I discovered is anything but. When I needed an ear this week, one was offered. Thank you.

My Afternoon

I'm skipping school, drinking cranberry wine and looking at obscene things on the Internet with one of my number one friends. Life is good. Today.

Reasons We Like Our Friend

Here are several reasons Bombadee and I really like our friend:

• She is an excellent listener.
• She always has the sanest advice of anyone we know.
• She is the MOST awesome chef ever.
• She loves her children and ours.
• She looks even more glowey when she is pregnant.
• She can cut her own friggin' hair and it looks spectacular.
• She is married to Mr. Blaazee-Blah
• She can keep a secret.
• She may seem quiet and shy, but get a few drinky-drinks in her and watch out!
• She is the classiest person who is willing to be friends with us.
• She used to smoke "stuff" with one of us more often than we should admit.
• She has never taken a bad photograh, ever.
• She has the longest lashes next to a Maybelline commercial.
• She is determined, strong, unshakable, tolerant, and poised through it all.
• She gets our jokes, or least laughs to make us believe she does.
• She is always smiling.
• She is supportive and nuturing.
• She is not embarrassed to talk about sex and demonstrate valuable exercises.
• She can dance like we always wished we could. And still try to.
• She will pick up the phone to call and ask how you are today.
• She's selfless, she wouldn't ask for toilet paper if she thought it would put you out.
• She's not afraid to tell you when you're being a bitch, but she always says it nicely.
• She uses the word "dude" a lot.
• Play "Push It" by Salt N' Peppa and back up, you're about to see a performance.
• She listens to the Butthole Surfers and Nitzer Ebb.
• She would willingly change our childs poopy diaper without being asked.
• She has raised a very kind and loving Judo Boy.
• Did we mention she can cook?

What Not To Wear...

I've been looking for a dress for a fun social occasion coming up in September and am having a hard time. Most stores I have perused seem to have one of three choices:

Teeny-Bopper Homecoming Dress

Hoochie-Mama Dress

Mother of the Bride Dress



I did find a few online that I like on the twig mannequins they're showcased on, but the biggest size they came in was an 11 (except the last, black lace one). It will be interesting to see what I end up with.

I'm looking for 33-year-old sophisticated fun with knee length minimum and chest support (no strapless).




Wish me luck!

The Post That Was Never Meant To Rock A Friendship, But Managed To Do Just That

See below.

Reasons I Like, Love and Admire My Friend.

This is not meant to embarrass her nor is it intended for her to respond with all of the things she likes about me. I just think its nice every once in awhile to remind those you care about that they are special. Plus, if there is one thing we definitely share it has to be our penchant for lists. Here's my list for her:

• She’s fun. Her name is high on the list of “people I want to hang out with on a Saturday night”.
  
• She’s intelligent. I enjoy knowing people who occasionally use a word or reference I don’t understand and aren’t annoyed when I ask what it means.
  
• She enjoys playing dress-up. I have pictures to validate.
  
• She has a sense of purpose.
  
• She’s honest. I am still trying to convince her that being out spoken and honest does not equate to being a bitch. Just because someone doesn’t like what you say doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have said it or that your intentions were to hurt their feelings.
  
• She is a wonderful mother. Being a mother is something we both find rewarding and irreplaceable.
  
• She is deeply in love with her husband. It’s nice to confirm that other couples can argue, get annoyed with each other, enjoy time away from one another and still have a strong, loving, passionate marriage.
  
• She and I respect each other. We do not always agree, but we can discuss anything and appreciate the others point of view. Our friendship is not weakened by the realization we do not have the same opinion on everything. Quite the opposite.
  
• She can keep confidences. This statement has never really been tested, but I wholeheartedly believe it to be true.
  
• She enjoys playing board games or cards with our children running in circles around the table.
  
• She and I can talk openly about sex, without the worry of embarrassment or judgment.
  
• She taught me how to swing dance and has told me I’m ready to graduate to dipping.
  
• She makes a mean cosmopolitan. We enjoy sharing a cocktail or two every now and again, but have thankfully moved past the desire to binge drink ourselves into a stupor.
• She likes me, and my husband, and my children. I have a tendency to gravitate towards this type of person more than those who find me an annoying, opinionated, haughty bitch. (Yes, there are some with that opinion.)
  
• She inspired me to start my blog. While I do not have the readers that she or Beth has, I enjoy having a place all my own where I can post cute pics of my kids one day, rant on politics the next and occasionally be annoying, opinionated and haughty.

*Don't we both have some killer cleavage?

Weekend Synopsis: Multiple Shopping Orgasms

Friday Night:

Dinner out with the kiddos and my folks at this great restaurant in what will be their new, very small, home town called The Pinecricker. The food was fabulous and affordable, two of my favorite things.

Dropped off final payment to Aunt Teenie Weenie for our living room furniture. I love not owing family money.

Saturday:

Doody’s basketball tournament was all day. After four teams played six games, her team was the only one undefeated. She ended her fifth grade season with a 1st place trophy. The second half of the last game, her team was ahead by 15 points and feeling pretty secure. My tiny daughter was the only member of the team who did not make a basket all season. Jeff and I were sitting in the stands right behind the team bench and overheard the coach tell them at half time to get the ball to Abi, it was her time to shine. I had a hard time sitting through the rest of the game with the large lump that moved into my throat as I heard her teammates cheer, “You can do it, Abi”. She attempted twice, but missed both. She may have finished the season with no baskets, but what she did have was worth so much more. Friends.

Shopping, shopping, shopping. Duchess Jane and I hit the town and spent some serious money. Best Buy, Old Navy, Target, Circuit City, Bergner’s, Marshall Fields and other various mall stores. We had a wide variety of discussions/discoveries, i.e. TaterTot has an uncanny ability to look marvelous in all style of sunglasses, back fat needs to be considered in the purchase of all formal wear, “smoother-outers” are a necessary evil, Jane looks magnificent in low cut plum trimmed in antique gold and amethyst beading, earrings circa 1982 are back in, and size 18 pants without a tapered leg can be more elusive than sasquatch.

Eating, eating, eating. Jane and I over indulged ourselves with the 3-course meal special at TGIF’s. Whoever decided to marry the decadence of Cinnabon’s and cheesecake was a genius. Once again, we sat at a table and talked for hours as I shredded a wooden skewer into a pile of splinters.

Sunday:

I went out for breakfast with parental units and Stephanie, followed by six hours of packing at the cabin. Strange items my parents use as decorations I found myself packing: beaver skull, antique stone pulleys, ceramic banana boy, antique shears, horse harness, antique enamel basins and a variety of animal skins including beaver, deer, cougar, minks, rabbit and coyote.

More shopping. Finally found some pants but had to settle for a slightly tapered leg. I did discover that in Lee Eased Fit Stretch khaki’s I can easily fit into a size 16. My vanity has no bounds…I bought two pair for that reason alone. New discovery: Curvations bras, spokesperson Queen Latifah. I finally found a pushup bra designed for busty women. Look out America, Tot’s cleavage is now on display!

Hey Big Spender...

Our federal tax return was deposited today. Here are our plans for the money, so far:

• Vegas House Rental, Deposit to Dan & Jenny
• Vegas Flight
• Payoff the following credit cards: Kohls, Kohls, Capital One
• Couch payoff to Aunt Teenie Weenie
• Digital Camera
• New Bedding for Doody, Mimi, Mr. & Mrs. TaterTot
• Payback parental units some borrowed money
• Full-Face Helmets for Doody, Mimi and SugarLips
• Deposit for Mimi’s Girl Scout Camp
• New Pants for TaterTot

This still leaves us with a chunk of change…hope it doesn’t burn a hole in my pocket.

Dress Vote

I have been doing some online shopping with my new found size (down from a tight 22 to a comfortable 18). I keep going back to these two dresses. Casual enough that I could throw on a cardigan or wrap and wear with flip flops or dressy enough I could put on some great earrings and heals. I probably won't buy both and can't decide which I like more, or which would look better. The brown/floral one would offer more support and produce some killer cleavage, but the black one would probably be more slimming. I'm afraid the brown/floral number is too busy, but the waist on the black one's waist seems to ride really high.

I'm conflicted.

Which do you like better?

Dood-a-looney

I may complain now and again that my Doody is growing up too quickly, but every once in awhile we still get to enjoy our "little" girl.

What Happens in Vegas...

I have been to Sin City\The City of Lights twice. I had what I consider to be a really good time and a fabulous time.

In 2002, The Big B and I went for a girl’s only vacation. It was my first time, her third or fourth. Her mission was to show me the town and that’s precisely what we did for three nights and four days. We walked and walked and walked and walked and walked until my feet were literally about to crumble from my ankles. I would often say, “Hey Bren, let’s stop and have a beer” to “We don’t have time, the free pirate show starts in twenty-three minutes and we have to walk 1.2 miles to get there.” We figured on the way home that we had slept something like 15 hours in four days. A good time, but exhausting.

Last year, Jeff and I went with Steph and Brian for my kid sister’s 21st birthday. Since I had been shown most of the “sites” in my last whirlwind tour the pressure was off. It was much more casual and fun. Dancing, a bit more gambling, drinking, lounge acts, sex (I was with my husband this time after all), food, sleep…whatever we felt like doing, we did. No agenda, no itinerary...just fun, fun, fun.

This coming September we have a trip planned with our dear friends Dan and Jenny to celebrate their 10th anniversary with a vow renewal Vegas style. Jeff and I were a bit nervous about going at first, as we are the only couple not bringing their child, or children in our case. Rather than stay in a hotel/casino, Dan and Jenny are renting a gorgeous five bedroom house complete with entertainment room and private pool/spa. Bedrooms were first come/first serve. Jeff and I went back and forth for days. Do we want to stay in a house with kids and grandparents (babysitters)? Here was our train of thought that led us to a decision:

• Money: We looked into a room on the strip and leaving on Sunday to save a night. It was still going to cost close to $300 more (on the Strip), and the flight out on Sunday is at 6am; we would lose all day Sunday. Staying less time and paying more money? That makes no sense.
• Pool: I am a “hang out at the pool and drink a Pina Colada” gal. The hotel pools are crowded with strangers and stinky. I'm sure Jeff and I would go to the private pool at the house to hang with our friends anyway. Why are we staying at a hotel again?
• Kids: There are kids everywhere in the hotels, so why are kids at the house bugging me so much? In a hotel you basically get a bedroom with an attached bath, same the house. In a hotel you may have kids on the other side of the wall, same as the house. Is it guilt for not bringing my own kids when my friends are? I got over it. Still not taking my children.
• Drunkenness and Getting Our Groove On: It is a given that both of these things will happen, the latter hopefully in the privacy of our room. I kept thinking if I stay at a house with kids and Jenny’s parents I can’t jump in the pool naked at midnight if I want to. Well I’m stupid…I can’t jump in the pool naked at a hotel either, without the risk of jail time. So what’s the big deal?
• Sleeping: Jeff and I will be out late and I was afraid if we were at the house, sleeping would be interrupted by kids who won’t be sleeping til noon. Who am I kidding? Sleeping in for me is like 8:30 a.m. no matter how late I am up.
• Food and Drink: I’m frugal (a.k.a. cheap). I can bring a big bottle of booze and Pina Colada mix with me; we can go to the store to buy food. We wouldn’t have to eat out EVERY meal. Restaurants quickly bore me and meals in Vegas are not as cheap as they used to be, you can’t find $5.95 prime rib dinners any more.

Yes, we decided to stay at the house with our friends, their children and parents. Will we have crazy fun? Will TaterTot drink too much? Will we have hot monkey sex? Will we have cocktails in the pool before noon? Will we stay out all night? Most likely answer to these questions and more is a yes.

So please dear friends, feel free to remind me I am in the presence of children if needed.

And, feel free to jump in the pool naked with us when they are sleeping.

A Son's Obsession

A battle of wills (not wits, dear Jane) took place in my household last night. In one corner, Mommy. In the other, SugarLips. My little Mr. Lips has discovered the world of Pixar animation. Nothing else matters; not food, not toys, not playmates. Only Buzz Lightyear or “Baa Light” as he is called by my 2-year-old (insert your own beer joke here). Every morning I wake up to him crawling on my head, shouting “Up…Mommy…up…more Baa…peas”. Immediately after we arrive home each evening he grabs a chair to reach the latch on the TV cabinet, hoping to get the magical machine that produces Baa Light to work for his tiny hands. I’m usually chasing him, trying to take off his hat and coat.

Jeff and I have decided to limit SugarLips to one movie per day. Since Jeff is home with him all morning, he is usually the hero who produces the beloved Buzz on the magic box. Mommy is the tyrant who says, “No more movies. Let’s read a book” as he screams, cries and stomps his feet.

Last night, after our typical tantrum I made dinner; macaroni & cheese and pork chops. Mr. Lips refused to sit at the dinner table. He just kept screaming “mo Baa”. His sisters and I sat at the table and ate, staring at his untouched plate of food. About an hour later, he asked to eat. I told him he had to sit at the table to eat. My son shot me a very serious look and said, “No”. He pulled one of his small chairs up to the coffee table in front of the TV, sat down, pointed at the table and said “Eat”. It would have been so easy to just hand him his plate and not feel guilty that I was starving my child, but I couldn’t do it. My refusal of his plan and insistence he sit at the dinner table brought on yet another tantrum. This went back and forth until 8:00 p.m., his bedtime. I was prepared to put him to bed without supper, but thought I should give him one last chance.

Mommy: “Isaac, are you hungry”
Isaac: “Yep”
Mommy: “Want some macaroni and pork chops?”
Isaac: “Yep”
Mommy: “Come sit at the table, and I will heat it up for you”
Isaac: “O-tay”

Isaac and I sat at the table and I airplane’d and choo-choo’d him every bite of his dinner.

State of the Union Address

Memorable moments, for me:

• As President Bush noted the passing of Coretta Scott King, the camera immediately zoomed in on the faces of African-American’s seated in the Capitol.
• “There is no peace in retreat.” The definition of peace is the state prevailing during the absence of war. How does one obtain peace in the presence of war if it is defined by its absence?
• “We are in this fight to win, and we are winning.” Personally, I’m going to have to quote Dalton (Patrick Swayze) from the movie Road House here and say, “No one wins a fight.”
• President Bush noted the death of Marine Staff Sergeant Dan Clay in Falluja last month and introduced his family; wife Lisa and parents Sara Jo and Bud. This sad, reflective moment was twisted a bit for me when the family stood, the house applauded and the camera panned to our President smiling and winking in another direction. This man has no scruples.

After reading Bombadee’s post yesterday, I kept count of some words used in the speech. Here is what I had at the end:

Terror/Terrorism/Terrorists: 17
Freedom: 15
WMD/Nuclear Weapons: 4
9/11: 2

Alas, he did not use either resolve or steadfast. No shots for me.