The Color Purple has long been known as my favorite movie. Without fail I cry every single time it graces the screen, and I'm not someone who is known for crying very often (I'm made of stone...remember). The story moves me in a way very few ever have. It’s about strength, heartache, survival, faith, the human spirit but most notably it’s a story of love. Love between sisters, love between friends, but most importantly the love you have for yourself. I once had a friend who had never seen it and I was so excited to share it with her…and she simply didn’t get it and my heart was broken. (No, we’re not friends anymore) Who wouldn’t be mesmerized by lines like these:
Shug: Yeah, Celie. Everything wanna be loved. Us sing and dance, and holla just wanting to be loved. Look at them trees. Notice how the trees do everything people do to get attention... except walk?
Celie: The jail you plan for me is the one you're gonna rot in.
Sophia: All my life I had to fight. I had to fight my daddy. I had to fight my uncles. I had to fight my brothers. A girl child ain't safe in a family of men, but I ain't never thought I'd have to fight in my own house!
Shug: See Daddy, sinners have souls too.
Celie: I'm poor, black, I may even be ugly, but dear God I'm here, I'm here!
While I have seen the movie well over a hundred times, I only recently bought the novel and have been reading it slowly chapter by chapter, savoring each word not wanting to reach the end. The musical opens in Chicago on April 19th and I will be taking Sister Stephanie for her 23rd birthday in May. In anticipation I recently downloaded the soundtrack on my iPod and have been amazed with what I've heard.
I recently had a talk with some of my girlfriends and found it difficult to articulate my faith and explain my self-esteem. These songs help to say it for me, The Color Purple and I’m Here:
The Color Purple
CELIE: God forgot about me!
SHUG: God takin' his time getting around to you, I admit, but look at all he give us. Laughin', and singin', and sex. Sky over our heads, birds singin' to us. I think it piss God off if anybody even walk past the color purple in a field and not notice it. He say, "look what I made for you."
CELIE: God just another man, far as I'm concerned, he triflin' and lowdown . . .
SHUG: No, Celie. God not some gloomy old man like the pictures you've seen of him.God not a man at all.
GOD IS INSIDE YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE
THAT WAS OR EVER WILL BE.
WE COME INTO THIS WORLD WITH GOD.
BUT ONLY THEM WHO LOOK INSIDE FIND IT.
GOD IS THE FLOWERS AND EVERYTHING ELSE
THAT WAS OR EVER WILL BE.
AND WHEN YOU FEEL THE TRUTH SO REAL,
AND WHEN YOU LOVE THE WAY YOU FEEL, YOU'VE FOUND IT
JUST AS SURE AS MOONLIGHT BLESS THE NIGHT.
LIKE A BLADE OF CORN,
LIKE A HONEYBEE,
LIKE A WATERFALL,
ALL A PART OF ME.
LIKE THE COLOR PURPLE,
WHERE DO IT COME FROM?
OPEN UP YOUR EYES,
LOOK WHAT GOD HAS DONE.
CELIE
DEAR GOD, DEAR STARS, DEAR TREES, DEAR SKY,
DEAR PEOPLES, DEAR EVERYTHING, DEAR GOD,
GOD IS INSIDE ME AND EVERYONE ELSE
THAT WAS OR EVER WILL BE.
I CAME INTO THIS WORLD WITH GOD
AND WHEN I FINALLY LOOKED INSIDE, I FOUND IT,
JUST AS CLOSE AS MY BREATH IS TO ME.
I’m Here
CELIE:
I'M GONNA SING OUT . . .SING OUT.
I BELIEVE I HAVE INSIDE OF ME
EVERYTHING THAT I NEED TO LIVE A BOUNTIFUL LIFE.
WITH ALL THE LOVE ALIVE IN ME
I'LL STAND AS TALL AS THE TALLEST TREE.
AND I'M
THANKFUL FOR EVERYDAY THAT I'M GIVEN,
BOTH THE EASY AND HARD ONES I'M LIVIN'.
BUT MOST OF ALL
I'M THANKFUL FOR
LOVING WHO I REALLY AM.
I'M BEAUTIFUL.
YES, I'M BEAUTIFUL,
AND I'M HERE.
Friday, April 06, 2007
Monday, April 02, 2007
This TaterTot is as Hard as a Rock...
It was decided after and long and insightful discussion on such topics as feminism, politics and faith that the following picture would be an appropriate representation of me.
Apparently I am made of stone.
But I believe that those who are around me and chip away long enough will someday find my elusive gooey center.
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Fashion in the House of Tot
The fashion was edgy and the models were FIERCE!
The agency's newest model is rumored to be the next big thing on the catwalk. Here he can been seen sporting a crimson fleece jumpsuit embellished with racecar embroidery accessorized with a single white, lace glove and black cowgirls boots with silver toe and hot pink stitching accents.
The agency's newest model is rumored to be the next big thing on the catwalk. Here he can been seen sporting a crimson fleece jumpsuit embellished with racecar embroidery accessorized with a single white, lace glove and black cowgirls boots with silver toe and hot pink stitching accents.
Monday, March 12, 2007
Seven Day Spending Spree
…canvas art for Sister Stephanie’s dining room
…four framed wine themed tiles for Sister Stephanie’s dining room
…brackets for Sister Stephanie’s stacked book shelves in office
…three sage green candles for Sister Stephanie’s candle holder in dining room
…framed picture noting “Always Kiss Me Goodnight” for Sister Stephanie’s bedroom
…floor mats for Sister Stephanie’s front and back entry ways
…green dragon bubble machine for SugarLips
…gallon size tub of bubbles for prior noted machine
…five pair of jeans for Jeff to wear at work
…pack of wife-beaters for a husband who would never beat his wife
…pack of socks for above mentioned husband
…new outfit for TaterTot to wear to interview
…hot pink and black canvas shoes with skull/checker motif for Doody
…two scrolled iron candle holders for bedroom
…two tarnished bronze leaf-inspired wall pieces for bedroom
…one tarnished bronze & iron scrolled wall piece for bedroom
…king-sized bed sheets
…king-sized comforter set and three matching decorative pillows
…two gallons paint for bedroom
…entertainment center for living room (Sister Stephanie needed one so I bought new and passed down old)
…sage green rug for front entry
…white wood curtain rods for Doody & Mimi’s bedroom
…white valances for Doody & Mimi’s bedroom
…tickets to Roller Derby
…sushi and cocktails with Bombadee
…coffee and scones at Mudd Puddles with Sister Stephanie
…lunch at hospital while visiting step-dad after back surgery
…treats at Dairy Queen with Sister Stephanie
…breakfast at White Pines Inn with Mimi and SugarLips
…dinner at PineCricker with Sister Stephanie (surf & turf…YUM!)
…dinner at McDonald’s with family before Roller Derby (bleh!)
…lunch at Applebee’s
…and my favorite purchase that I have to wait two weeks for: our first brand-new bed, king-size. We’re sleeping on a poking-spring used mattress we bought from my older sister’s roommate 14 years ago and my parents frame and headboard from 1978. It was time for an upgrade.
In queue to be purchased soon:
…king-size mattresses; looking for a sale, I’m out of money
…framed picture noting “Always Kiss Me Goodnight” for my bedroom; Jeff was bummed when I told him it was for Stephanie’s room and not ours
…19” widescreen LCD monitor; now that I have the Internet at home 15" CRT will not do
…four framed wine themed tiles for Sister Stephanie’s dining room
…brackets for Sister Stephanie’s stacked book shelves in office
…three sage green candles for Sister Stephanie’s candle holder in dining room
…framed picture noting “Always Kiss Me Goodnight” for Sister Stephanie’s bedroom
…floor mats for Sister Stephanie’s front and back entry ways
…green dragon bubble machine for SugarLips
…gallon size tub of bubbles for prior noted machine
…five pair of jeans for Jeff to wear at work
…pack of wife-beaters for a husband who would never beat his wife
…pack of socks for above mentioned husband
…new outfit for TaterTot to wear to interview
…hot pink and black canvas shoes with skull/checker motif for Doody
…two scrolled iron candle holders for bedroom
…two tarnished bronze leaf-inspired wall pieces for bedroom
…one tarnished bronze & iron scrolled wall piece for bedroom
…king-sized bed sheets
…king-sized comforter set and three matching decorative pillows
…two gallons paint for bedroom
…entertainment center for living room (Sister Stephanie needed one so I bought new and passed down old)
…sage green rug for front entry
…white wood curtain rods for Doody & Mimi’s bedroom
…white valances for Doody & Mimi’s bedroom
…tickets to Roller Derby
…sushi and cocktails with Bombadee
…coffee and scones at Mudd Puddles with Sister Stephanie
…lunch at hospital while visiting step-dad after back surgery
…treats at Dairy Queen with Sister Stephanie
…breakfast at White Pines Inn with Mimi and SugarLips
…dinner at PineCricker with Sister Stephanie (surf & turf…YUM!)
…dinner at McDonald’s with family before Roller Derby (bleh!)
…lunch at Applebee’s
…and my favorite purchase that I have to wait two weeks for: our first brand-new bed, king-size. We’re sleeping on a poking-spring used mattress we bought from my older sister’s roommate 14 years ago and my parents frame and headboard from 1978. It was time for an upgrade.
In queue to be purchased soon:
…king-size mattresses; looking for a sale, I’m out of money
…framed picture noting “Always Kiss Me Goodnight” for my bedroom; Jeff was bummed when I told him it was for Stephanie’s room and not ours
…19” widescreen LCD monitor; now that I have the Internet at home 15" CRT will not do
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Will an "A" Get Me In?
I found a quiz online today, asking readers Got Religion?
I only missed one of the fifteen earning a 93%, although I will admit one of the True/False was a total guess and I happened to pick the right one. (No bragging on my blog about your perfect score Dan!).
The article that lead into the quiz has prompted me to put Professor Steve Prothero's soon to be published book "Religious Literacy" on my reading list. This statement regarding the professor rang close to home for me:
"The professor is not an advocate for any faith, though he's a great admirer of the faithful."
But, as I read on he is an advocate to "teach religion in public schools. Prothero believes that before graduation from high school, every American should take a Bible course and a world-religions course—dispassionate humanities courses whose purpose is not to catechize or evangelize but to educate."
Sounds like a good read, and an opportunity for me to be swayed into a change of opinion...something that doesn't happen very often.
I only missed one of the fifteen earning a 93%, although I will admit one of the True/False was a total guess and I happened to pick the right one. (No bragging on my blog about your perfect score Dan!).
The article that lead into the quiz has prompted me to put Professor Steve Prothero's soon to be published book "Religious Literacy" on my reading list. This statement regarding the professor rang close to home for me:
"The professor is not an advocate for any faith, though he's a great admirer of the faithful."
But, as I read on he is an advocate to "teach religion in public schools. Prothero believes that before graduation from high school, every American should take a Bible course and a world-religions course—dispassionate humanities courses whose purpose is not to catechize or evangelize but to educate."
Sounds like a good read, and an opportunity for me to be swayed into a change of opinion...something that doesn't happen very often.
Saturday, March 03, 2007
Scruples: A Tot in Need
Similar to something that my pal Jenny emailed me the other day, I made a statement during a board game with friends last night that has weighed heavily on my mind ever since.
While playing the game Scruples with the Bombadee’s and Blahzeeblah’s, my closest friends who I am comfortable saying anything in front of, I found myself quickly answering a question before giving it much thought. You have the option to answer all of the hypothetical questions with a yes, no or depends. A “depends” requires additional explanation, but rarely the way I respond to anything. While my ability to give an opinion quickly and precisely can depict a woman who is steadfast and confident in her beliefs it can also reveal that sometimes I speak before I think, as in the case last night.
So what is the question that has haunted me for about 14 hours now?
Would you consider leaving your spouse if it was discovered they could not have children?
Before I knew it, “YES” blurted out of my mouth to my wide-eyed friends, a husband who said “gee…thanks a lot” and a friend who said “that’s the case for my brother and his wife”. Her brother and his wife have been married for 15 years and after thousands and thousands of dollars on fertility treatments and invitro have only been left with too many heart aching losses to count and too much debt to visit home.
Yeah, I can be a real ass sometimes.
So why did I say yes? I’m not sure, knowing I have the ability to conceive and carry a child to term and having experienced that, I would be able to give that up for anyone. Being pregnant, that is. But of course that is easy for me to say, I have conceived and carried three children to term without complication. I appreciate there are women out there who are unable to conceive, carry and/or have babies and my heart breaks for them, I will never understand the grief they bear. My quick, thoughtless response was inconsiderate not only to my husband and friend but to the thousands of families who suffer broken dream after broken dream. For that, I apologize.
So after putting some much needed thought into the question, I would have to change my answer to “depends”. Ever since I can remember when I was asked the question “What do you want to be when you grow up” my response was always the same…quick and precise: “A mom”. My mind equated that question with not being a mom, and it should not have. There are many ways for one to be a mom, and apparently many ways for one to be an ass.
While playing the game Scruples with the Bombadee’s and Blahzeeblah’s, my closest friends who I am comfortable saying anything in front of, I found myself quickly answering a question before giving it much thought. You have the option to answer all of the hypothetical questions with a yes, no or depends. A “depends” requires additional explanation, but rarely the way I respond to anything. While my ability to give an opinion quickly and precisely can depict a woman who is steadfast and confident in her beliefs it can also reveal that sometimes I speak before I think, as in the case last night.
So what is the question that has haunted me for about 14 hours now?
Would you consider leaving your spouse if it was discovered they could not have children?
Before I knew it, “YES” blurted out of my mouth to my wide-eyed friends, a husband who said “gee…thanks a lot” and a friend who said “that’s the case for my brother and his wife”. Her brother and his wife have been married for 15 years and after thousands and thousands of dollars on fertility treatments and invitro have only been left with too many heart aching losses to count and too much debt to visit home.
Yeah, I can be a real ass sometimes.
So why did I say yes? I’m not sure, knowing I have the ability to conceive and carry a child to term and having experienced that, I would be able to give that up for anyone. Being pregnant, that is. But of course that is easy for me to say, I have conceived and carried three children to term without complication. I appreciate there are women out there who are unable to conceive, carry and/or have babies and my heart breaks for them, I will never understand the grief they bear. My quick, thoughtless response was inconsiderate not only to my husband and friend but to the thousands of families who suffer broken dream after broken dream. For that, I apologize.
So after putting some much needed thought into the question, I would have to change my answer to “depends”. Ever since I can remember when I was asked the question “What do you want to be when you grow up” my response was always the same…quick and precise: “A mom”. My mind equated that question with not being a mom, and it should not have. There are many ways for one to be a mom, and apparently many ways for one to be an ass.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
My Magnificent Mimi
Happy Double-Digits to My Magnificent Mimi!!
Looking through some pics from the last year, I see you inherited the same silly gene that has plagued your mother (much to your fathers chagrin)...
While you are my fearless one who flys higher and faster than your mom would sometimes like...you are also a strong, confident, funny, loving, inquisitive and bright shining light in my life.
I love you.
(Even more than my shoes.)
Monday, February 26, 2007
Coming Soon...
More of TaterTots Thoughts.
Jeff and I are making the leap to the 21st Century and setting up an ISP for home (finally). You can thank my husband for this new development. I think my birthday present had an ulterior motive; I need the Internet for my new 4GB iPod Nano.
Now I won’t be able to say work was too busy to post…but will be able to say I was too busy downloading songs...or would that be uploading songs? I'm always confused on which is the proper way to use those two terms.
Jeff and I are making the leap to the 21st Century and setting up an ISP for home (finally). You can thank my husband for this new development. I think my birthday present had an ulterior motive; I need the Internet for my new 4GB iPod Nano.
Now I won’t be able to say work was too busy to post…but will be able to say I was too busy downloading songs...or would that be uploading songs? I'm always confused on which is the proper way to use those two terms.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Wonder Twin Power Activate...Form of...
Work discussion today:
If you could have any superhero power, what would you choose?
If you could have any superhero power, what would you choose?
Monday, February 19, 2007
You Know Who You Are
I would like to thank you-know-who for you-know-what. We really need to you-know-what more often. It’s nice to be reminded that I do have a you-know-what that has the same you-know-what about you-know what. I could have sat up you-know-whating til you-know-when. If you do move down to you-know-where we are going to drive you-know-who crazy with our you-know-whating.
And I love you too...you're the you-know-what!
And I love you too...you're the you-know-what!
Friday, February 16, 2007
Plans via Pics
Dinner and a play with gals from work...
A date with one of my fella's to see Pirates and Mermaids on Ice...
Celebrating my 34th year...
Dinner at my favoirte hibachi grill with the family...
An evening out with The Casseroles...
And tonight, and evening of crude humor and red leather with Mrs. Blahzeeblah...
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Reason I Love Being a Mom #5,234
Last night as SugarLips and I were “nugglin” in bed, preparing for a good night of rest I softly stroked his head and told him a story. He lay there spooned up against me still as a statue, listening to the adventures of Prince Isaac and his sisters Princess Mimi and Princess Abigail. There were castles, mighty steeds, magical apples, a dark forest and snarly bears. After about fifteen minutes, I concluded his story with the classic they lived happily every after when SugarLips quickly rolled over, eyes wide, grabbed my cheeks with his soft little hands and asked in amazement… “Mommy…where did you get those words?”
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Feminism, In Simple Terms
Sorry I haven’t posted in a while, the House of Tot has been busier then usual of late. Since it has been some time since you’ve all heard from me, I thought I come back with a bang…
My brain has been mulling the concept of feminism for several weeks. I’ve been reading a site Bombadee led me to for a while now and it’s seriously messing with my brain (beware to link clickers…this site has some NSFW images on the front page today, send the kiddos away if you follow). Let’s start here…
Wikipedia states this:
“In simple terms, feminism is the belief in social, political and economic equality of the sexes, and a movement organized around the belief that gender should not be the pre-determinant factor shaping a person's social identity or socio-political or economic rights.”
I can stand behind that statement wholeheartedly. It goes on to say:
“Modern feminist political activists commonly campaign on issues such as reproductive rights, including the right to safe, legal abortion, access to contraception and quality prenatal care, protection from violence within a domestic partnership, sexual harassment, street harassment, discrimination and rape, and rights to maternity leave, and equal pay.”
I can stand behind that statement as well, but do feel the need to explain my thoughts/beliefs on some the items individually as they may differ from yours.
I agree with a woman’s right to safe, legal abortion. I also believe life begins with pregnancy, medically defined “as beginning when the developing embryo becomes implanted into the endometrial lining of a woman's uterus.” Some may say these statements contradict one another, but I can’t stand behind the idea that at 23 weeks gestation it’s a viable baby, but at 22 weeks 6 days gestation it’s an inviable fetus. So yes, I believe life begins with pregnancy but also stand behind a woman’s right to make the choice to end said pregnancy within the limits of the law. Call me an oxymoron.
I agree with a woman’s right to have access to contraception and quality prenatal care. Unfortunately, I see this right ignored by women everyday where I live. Who should take responsibility for that? When do we stop blaming “the man” for the choices we make?
I agree with a women’s right to protection from violence within a domestic partnership. I struggle however with my “hit me once shame on you, hit me twice shame on me” way of thinking. I realize this statement has undertones of blaming the person being abused for their abuse which is not my intention…I don’t think. I struggle with my belief that we teach people how to treat us. How do I reconcile that belief against a woman who chooses to stay with a person who abuses her? Do I overestimate the choices some women have? How can I teach my daughters they have the power to make choices while women are overheard crying that they know he hits them and calls them nasty names and won’t let leave the house or get a job or give them money…but “I had no other choice and I love him” blah, blah, blah. I tell my girls not to give away their power to any man, that these women do have a choice and it’s too bad they don’t love themselves more. Wow…I didn’t realize I was so harsh until I actually typed that.
Sexual harassment, street harassment, discrimination and rape. These are issues we all need to stand up and campaign on for women and men. No mean no, no matter what I’m wearing, what I’ve drank, what drugs I’ve taken, whether we’re married or not, whether we’ve kissed, whether I’ve allowed you feel me up, whether I’ve performed oral sex on you…just because I put your dick in my mouth doesn’t give you the right to put it anywhere else you want to. If for any reason I’m unable to say no, then I’m unable to say yes. If we’ve started and I want you to stop, you have to stop. No means no, simple as that. There is no gray area for me when it comes to sexual violation. There are no choices allowed to be made. Rape is not giving away your power, it’s having it taken away from you. (Picture it…my fists are shaking in the air as I’m re-reading this paragraph)
I agree with the right for maternity leave for women. Why are men left in the cold here though? Physically I didn’t need six weeks to recovery from pregnancy, labor and delivery. I know some of my friends would disagree with that as their experiences were different, but that was my experience. Why did I get six weeks paid leave and Jeff had to suck up his entire vacation to have a measly five days off? I chose not to breastfeed, and even if I had six weeks isn’t sufficient for that reason alone so that can’t the reasoning behind the timeframe. My assumption is that maternity leave is intended for more than just physical recovery, so why aren’t men entitled to it too? Equality, right?
I believe in a woman’s right to equal pay. Easy…equal work = equal pay. How can anyone even argue that one with a straight face? What would they say…“I have a penis, therefore I deserve a higher hourly wage”…?
I suppose when I re-read this post (I'm about to click "Publish" and had the need to add this sentence) my path to equality has more to do re-educating women on what to ask for rather than re-educating men (or society) on what to give. The goal of course would be that we, as women, will someday no longer have to ask at all.
More to come…maybe …
My brain has been mulling the concept of feminism for several weeks. I’ve been reading a site Bombadee led me to for a while now and it’s seriously messing with my brain (beware to link clickers…this site has some NSFW images on the front page today, send the kiddos away if you follow). Let’s start here…
Wikipedia states this:
“In simple terms, feminism is the belief in social, political and economic equality of the sexes, and a movement organized around the belief that gender should not be the pre-determinant factor shaping a person's social identity or socio-political or economic rights.”
I can stand behind that statement wholeheartedly. It goes on to say:
“Modern feminist political activists commonly campaign on issues such as reproductive rights, including the right to safe, legal abortion, access to contraception and quality prenatal care, protection from violence within a domestic partnership, sexual harassment, street harassment, discrimination and rape, and rights to maternity leave, and equal pay.”
I can stand behind that statement as well, but do feel the need to explain my thoughts/beliefs on some the items individually as they may differ from yours.
I agree with a woman’s right to safe, legal abortion. I also believe life begins with pregnancy, medically defined “as beginning when the developing embryo becomes implanted into the endometrial lining of a woman's uterus.” Some may say these statements contradict one another, but I can’t stand behind the idea that at 23 weeks gestation it’s a viable baby, but at 22 weeks 6 days gestation it’s an inviable fetus. So yes, I believe life begins with pregnancy but also stand behind a woman’s right to make the choice to end said pregnancy within the limits of the law. Call me an oxymoron.
I agree with a woman’s right to have access to contraception and quality prenatal care. Unfortunately, I see this right ignored by women everyday where I live. Who should take responsibility for that? When do we stop blaming “the man” for the choices we make?
I agree with a women’s right to protection from violence within a domestic partnership. I struggle however with my “hit me once shame on you, hit me twice shame on me” way of thinking. I realize this statement has undertones of blaming the person being abused for their abuse which is not my intention…I don’t think. I struggle with my belief that we teach people how to treat us. How do I reconcile that belief against a woman who chooses to stay with a person who abuses her? Do I overestimate the choices some women have? How can I teach my daughters they have the power to make choices while women are overheard crying that they know he hits them and calls them nasty names and won’t let leave the house or get a job or give them money…but “I had no other choice and I love him” blah, blah, blah. I tell my girls not to give away their power to any man, that these women do have a choice and it’s too bad they don’t love themselves more. Wow…I didn’t realize I was so harsh until I actually typed that.
Sexual harassment, street harassment, discrimination and rape. These are issues we all need to stand up and campaign on for women and men. No mean no, no matter what I’m wearing, what I’ve drank, what drugs I’ve taken, whether we’re married or not, whether we’ve kissed, whether I’ve allowed you feel me up, whether I’ve performed oral sex on you…just because I put your dick in my mouth doesn’t give you the right to put it anywhere else you want to. If for any reason I’m unable to say no, then I’m unable to say yes. If we’ve started and I want you to stop, you have to stop. No means no, simple as that. There is no gray area for me when it comes to sexual violation. There are no choices allowed to be made. Rape is not giving away your power, it’s having it taken away from you. (Picture it…my fists are shaking in the air as I’m re-reading this paragraph)
I agree with the right for maternity leave for women. Why are men left in the cold here though? Physically I didn’t need six weeks to recovery from pregnancy, labor and delivery. I know some of my friends would disagree with that as their experiences were different, but that was my experience. Why did I get six weeks paid leave and Jeff had to suck up his entire vacation to have a measly five days off? I chose not to breastfeed, and even if I had six weeks isn’t sufficient for that reason alone so that can’t the reasoning behind the timeframe. My assumption is that maternity leave is intended for more than just physical recovery, so why aren’t men entitled to it too? Equality, right?
I believe in a woman’s right to equal pay. Easy…equal work = equal pay. How can anyone even argue that one with a straight face? What would they say…“I have a penis, therefore I deserve a higher hourly wage”…?
I suppose when I re-read this post (I'm about to click "Publish" and had the need to add this sentence) my path to equality has more to do re-educating women on what to ask for rather than re-educating men (or society) on what to give. The goal of course would be that we, as women, will someday no longer have to ask at all.
More to come…maybe …
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Yeah...I'm Going To Hell...
...for having impure thoughts about Harry Potter.
But tell me, when did this
But tell me, when did this
become this?
DAMN!!
And by that I mean D-AAAAAAAA-MN!
Monday, January 29, 2007
Don't Be A Boob
Loved, loved, loved this article.
A guy's guide to breast-feeding: Don't be a boob
To look or not to look? How men should act around a nursing mom
A guy's guide to breast-feeding: Don't be a boob
To look or not to look? How men should act around a nursing mom
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Supply and Demand
After reading the posts at both Bombadee’s and I Blame the Patriarchy I decided to do some Googling to see what other “onesie’s” I could find out there. The selections below took mere minutes to accumulate and finally I had to stop looking.
I’ll let the picture below speak for itself, and just to avoid any conversation on gender discrimination or appropriateness please note you could purchase all of the selections below in either white, blue or pink.
Wow.
“For Sale By Owner”
“Boob Man”
“Playground Pimp”
“Lock Up Your Daughters”
“Boob-a-holic The First Step is Admitting It”
“Mommy Drinks Because I Cry”
“Breastfed Baby Stick Around for the Show”
“Pinch My Cheeks I’ll Kick Your @$$”
“I Get To Suck Tits All Day”
“Pullout Baby”
“My Name is Oops”
“It’s This Big”
I’ll let the picture below speak for itself, and just to avoid any conversation on gender discrimination or appropriateness please note you could purchase all of the selections below in either white, blue or pink.
Wow.
“For Sale By Owner”
“Boob Man”
“Playground Pimp”
“Lock Up Your Daughters”
“Boob-a-holic The First Step is Admitting It”
“Mommy Drinks Because I Cry”
“Breastfed Baby Stick Around for the Show”
“Pinch My Cheeks I’ll Kick Your @$$”
“I Get To Suck Tits All Day”
“Pullout Baby”
“My Name is Oops”
“It’s This Big”
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Calogero Vizzini, Al Capone, Luky Luciano & TaterTot
An article I read recently titled Baby makes 3: How kids rattle friendships had the section copied below, which I found hilarious:
Beware the 'mommy mafia'
Happily childfree by choice, Lisa Giassa, a 35-year-old public relations executive who lives in Bergen County, N.J., saw many of her friends get sucked into what she calls “the mommy mafia. All they do is talk — more like complain — about their kids, their husbands, dramas with teachers and other mommy mafia members,” says Giassa.
She has few friends left who have children and cherishes the ones she calls “me-first moms.” Me-first moms, she said, nurture friendships, while members of the mommy mafia are more likely to go months without calling. “It's as if they became incapable of doing anything that didn't fit their ideal of what a mommy should be and do. It just became too much effort and I began to ask what am I getting from these friendships? What am I giving? Then I realized we just grew apart. So it was time to find new friends.”
A dictionary of the Italian language describes mafia as: "A complex of small clandestine associations governed by a code of silence and being in control of some business activities and of party patronage in the administration of the Region of Sicily".
If our families or children are considered our “business” there are few days any of us would boast we felt in control, while my pal Jenny is Italian I don’t believe she’s Sicilian so that’s not applicable, and the phrase “code of silence” is laughable as we’re not silent about anything. Usually you can’t get us to shut-up.
I’m not sure if I would be considered a “Me-First-Mom” or a member of the “Mommy Mafia”. I would guess a bit of both. The majority of my friends and all of my closest friends are also mothers so it’s hard for me to gauge how we may come across to the childless. I will admit when I have gone out with a group of Mom’s in the past I know I have grown inpatient with story after story after story about what their kid may or may not have done since I saw them last. I can't imagine how much it may suck to someone without kids listening to an hour-long story about how my three-year old navigated potty training. While I like to brag up my kids as much as the next gal, it can get tiresome after a while even mother to mother. I have wondered if some women I know are able to define themselves outside of being a mother (there’s my judgemental side again).
If we are part of an underground Mommy Mafia, then I want to assign the following titles to my "family":
Bombadee as Capo Crimine - The head of the family, usually reigning as a dictator, sometimes called the "don", or "godfather”. Level headed and cool under pressue, but knows when it’s necessary to order a hit. Offering information on an as-needed basis, she trusts few and keeps her enemies under a watchful eye.
Mrs. BlahZeeBlah as Consigliere - Consigliere is an advisor to the family. They are often low profile gangsters that can be trusted. They are used as a mediator of disputes or representatives or aids in meetings with other Families. They often keep the Family looking as legitimate as possible. They usually do not have crew of their own, but still wield great power in the Family.
TaterTot as Capo di Tutti Capi – “Boss of all Bosses” of course. After all, this is my blog and according to Bombadee I get to be the coolest person on my blog.
So what are you; a “Me-First-Mom” or member of the “Mommy Mafia”?
Beware the 'mommy mafia'
Happily childfree by choice, Lisa Giassa, a 35-year-old public relations executive who lives in Bergen County, N.J., saw many of her friends get sucked into what she calls “the mommy mafia. All they do is talk — more like complain — about their kids, their husbands, dramas with teachers and other mommy mafia members,” says Giassa.
She has few friends left who have children and cherishes the ones she calls “me-first moms.” Me-first moms, she said, nurture friendships, while members of the mommy mafia are more likely to go months without calling. “It's as if they became incapable of doing anything that didn't fit their ideal of what a mommy should be and do. It just became too much effort and I began to ask what am I getting from these friendships? What am I giving? Then I realized we just grew apart. So it was time to find new friends.”
A dictionary of the Italian language describes mafia as: "A complex of small clandestine associations governed by a code of silence and being in control of some business activities and of party patronage in the administration of the Region of Sicily".
If our families or children are considered our “business” there are few days any of us would boast we felt in control, while my pal Jenny is Italian I don’t believe she’s Sicilian so that’s not applicable, and the phrase “code of silence” is laughable as we’re not silent about anything. Usually you can’t get us to shut-up.
I’m not sure if I would be considered a “Me-First-Mom” or a member of the “Mommy Mafia”. I would guess a bit of both. The majority of my friends and all of my closest friends are also mothers so it’s hard for me to gauge how we may come across to the childless. I will admit when I have gone out with a group of Mom’s in the past I know I have grown inpatient with story after story after story about what their kid may or may not have done since I saw them last. I can't imagine how much it may suck to someone without kids listening to an hour-long story about how my three-year old navigated potty training. While I like to brag up my kids as much as the next gal, it can get tiresome after a while even mother to mother. I have wondered if some women I know are able to define themselves outside of being a mother (there’s my judgemental side again).
If we are part of an underground Mommy Mafia, then I want to assign the following titles to my "family":
Bombadee as Capo Crimine - The head of the family, usually reigning as a dictator, sometimes called the "don", or "godfather”. Level headed and cool under pressue, but knows when it’s necessary to order a hit. Offering information on an as-needed basis, she trusts few and keeps her enemies under a watchful eye.
Mrs. BlahZeeBlah as Consigliere - Consigliere is an advisor to the family. They are often low profile gangsters that can be trusted. They are used as a mediator of disputes or representatives or aids in meetings with other Families. They often keep the Family looking as legitimate as possible. They usually do not have crew of their own, but still wield great power in the Family.
TaterTot as Capo di Tutti Capi – “Boss of all Bosses” of course. After all, this is my blog and according to Bombadee I get to be the coolest person on my blog.
So what are you; a “Me-First-Mom” or member of the “Mommy Mafia”?
Friday, January 12, 2007
Baseball, Apple Pie and Judging Mothers...
Judgement: the forming of an opinion, estimate, notion, or conclusion, as from circumstances presented to the mind
I read a couple of interesting articles recently on Mommy’s in America and recently enjoyed Weeza’s post on her constant questioning/self-judgement of her own parenting abilities. One article focused on how judgemental mothers in America are of eachother:
What's the real measure of a ‘good mom’? Judging mothers has turned into a popular American pastime, many say
It hit a little closer to home for me than I would have liked. Looking at my own circle of friends, many of us parent our children differently and I have been known to make comments (mostly postitive, but some negative) on choices I see others make. Not that what they do is right or wrong, but more along the lines of saying I wouldn’t make the same choices. With the exception of verbal/physical abuse I would never tell a friend how they choose to raise their children is wrong. I give advice when asked for, but try to always throw in a disclaimer stating “this is what I would do, but you need to figure out what is best for you”. I will admit though I do make a judgement of someone based on how I see them raise/interact with their kids. I have always taught my kids that it is wrong to gauge someone’s value or make judgement based on something a person cannot change, i.e. skin color, handicap, sexual orientation, etc. Isn’t how we raise our children a choice? Is is wrong for me to make a judgement here? Are my friends not allowed to form an opinion of me based on my choices as a parent?
Tomorrow: Beware of the “Mommy Mafia”
I read a couple of interesting articles recently on Mommy’s in America and recently enjoyed Weeza’s post on her constant questioning/self-judgement of her own parenting abilities. One article focused on how judgemental mothers in America are of eachother:
What's the real measure of a ‘good mom’? Judging mothers has turned into a popular American pastime, many say
It hit a little closer to home for me than I would have liked. Looking at my own circle of friends, many of us parent our children differently and I have been known to make comments (mostly postitive, but some negative) on choices I see others make. Not that what they do is right or wrong, but more along the lines of saying I wouldn’t make the same choices. With the exception of verbal/physical abuse I would never tell a friend how they choose to raise their children is wrong. I give advice when asked for, but try to always throw in a disclaimer stating “this is what I would do, but you need to figure out what is best for you”. I will admit though I do make a judgement of someone based on how I see them raise/interact with their kids. I have always taught my kids that it is wrong to gauge someone’s value or make judgement based on something a person cannot change, i.e. skin color, handicap, sexual orientation, etc. Isn’t how we raise our children a choice? Is is wrong for me to make a judgement here? Are my friends not allowed to form an opinion of me based on my choices as a parent?
Tomorrow: Beware of the “Mommy Mafia”
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
What's the Point?
Blogs, blogs, blogs.
Why do we post?
Who are we posting for?
How often should one post?
Do we check our site meters to see who is reading and how often?
Is that the point?
Are people honest?
Do we omit what we really want to say because we know who may be reading it?
Is not including something important going on in your life a lie by omission or just a choice?
Is a blog supposed to be an online diary of my thoughts and point of view or a family album full of kid pictures and announcements of growing pains?
Are pictures of my Vegas vacations and drunken adventures with my girlfriends as funny to everyone else as they are to me?
I’ve read some really balls out arguments surrounding such topics as politics, abortion, and breastfeeding; is any subject open for discussion?
Are friendships strong enough to handle disagreement or do we hold back for fear of alienating those closest to us?
Could a total stranger change my lifelong belief on a subject with a two paragraph comment?
Do I really think I could change someone else’s with mine?
One of my favorite blogs, Messy Beautiful, is closing down. She is looking for some anonymity and I have to admit the idea is appealing. I don’t post things here I would like to for fear of hurting a friend’s feelings or being dooced. When I started this blog, I was careful about who from my “real life” I gave the address to so I could write freely without worry. I now realize that concept is out the window, as I purposefully withhold things knowing who reads. These day’s I feel I can’t even post what my social plans are for fear of hurting someone’s feelings. The restraints I have put on myself have led me to post less and less often.
We all hold things back from our blogs, including only bits and pieces carefully re-read for hidden meanings and spell-checked before hitting the “Publish” button. Well, I should say most of us spell-check (~wink to you know who~).
One blog I read makes no mention of the fact their spouse is in politics or an argument I know they may have had three weeks ago. I post about how wonderful my husband is but exclude the fact that he pisses me off sometimes and we argue. Is the picture I’m presenting on by blog what IS or what I want it to BE?
Another blog I used to read is authored by the most self-centered person I thought I have ever met. She would gleefully announce every single woe in her life and share incredibly personal details about her physical and mental health, but when she found herself unexpectedly pregnant and then later miscarried it was only referred to cryptically on her website. She was flooded with fellow blogger declarations to “be there” for her even though they had never even met and they had no idea what she was even going through. What the hell does that mean? Why was this subject not honestly posted for comment like everything else; nothing seemed off limits before. It truly made me consider the notion that the entire thing was concocted to hold onto a man who wanted nothing to do with her. I don’t think that is what really happened, but the thought did creep into my brain just because she didn’t blog about it. Are some things too personal to post and we should respect that? I found myself judging her not only on what she did post, but on what she didn’t. That isn’t very fair of me, is it?
I was recently referred back to this same persons blog to read a post about the day a friend of hers “saved her life”, but she left out the part about how she blasted this person in the weeks to follow as she and her pseudo-friends said nasty things about her on the Internet and they aren’t speaking anymore. I was dying to comment that if her treatment of Jenny is what a friend gets for saving your life, then I would advise everyone in the future not to. What was the point of her post? To thank Jenny or bait us into commenting so her friends could rally again? Neither, I guess since neither occurred. Maybe, just maybe, the post wasn’t about Jenny or I. Maybe the world doesn’t revolve around me. New concept. Who’s the self-centered person now?
Maybe we miss the point of posts all together. Bombadee posted yesterday how Ella is having a hard time with the concept of being “big” and I wrote a four paragraph comment giving her advice and announcing how I handled the same hurdles. Was she asking for advice? No. But before I knew it I was typing up my two cents and checking back for her reply. Maybe my opinion on her toddlers transition from diapers to underwear wasn’t the intention of her post. Maybe the world doesn’t revolve around me. New concept. I’m seeing a pattern here.
When I would go out socially with a friend whose blog I used to read, she often declared at a table full of people that I was in her “stalker stats” and I would be so embarrassed. She would constantly check who was on her site, how long there were there, what they clicked on; it made me so self-conscious that I found myself thinking about it when I would read her blog and it took all of the enjoyment out of it for me. Then if someone was put on the disavowed list in her life, she would gleefully announce how she could “block the bitch” from her site. It seemed to be a power trip to her. It that what blogs are all about? The numbers on your site meter?
So what is the point? Is it all about me, me me? Are most bloggers incredibly narcissistic people or just me?
(Noticed how I had the word “me” in that sentence? Yep, it’s all about me.)
Why do we post?
Who are we posting for?
How often should one post?
Do we check our site meters to see who is reading and how often?
Is that the point?
Are people honest?
Do we omit what we really want to say because we know who may be reading it?
Is not including something important going on in your life a lie by omission or just a choice?
Is a blog supposed to be an online diary of my thoughts and point of view or a family album full of kid pictures and announcements of growing pains?
Are pictures of my Vegas vacations and drunken adventures with my girlfriends as funny to everyone else as they are to me?
I’ve read some really balls out arguments surrounding such topics as politics, abortion, and breastfeeding; is any subject open for discussion?
Are friendships strong enough to handle disagreement or do we hold back for fear of alienating those closest to us?
Could a total stranger change my lifelong belief on a subject with a two paragraph comment?
Do I really think I could change someone else’s with mine?
One of my favorite blogs, Messy Beautiful, is closing down. She is looking for some anonymity and I have to admit the idea is appealing. I don’t post things here I would like to for fear of hurting a friend’s feelings or being dooced. When I started this blog, I was careful about who from my “real life” I gave the address to so I could write freely without worry. I now realize that concept is out the window, as I purposefully withhold things knowing who reads. These day’s I feel I can’t even post what my social plans are for fear of hurting someone’s feelings. The restraints I have put on myself have led me to post less and less often.
We all hold things back from our blogs, including only bits and pieces carefully re-read for hidden meanings and spell-checked before hitting the “Publish” button. Well, I should say most of us spell-check (~wink to you know who~).
One blog I read makes no mention of the fact their spouse is in politics or an argument I know they may have had three weeks ago. I post about how wonderful my husband is but exclude the fact that he pisses me off sometimes and we argue. Is the picture I’m presenting on by blog what IS or what I want it to BE?
Another blog I used to read is authored by the most self-centered person I thought I have ever met. She would gleefully announce every single woe in her life and share incredibly personal details about her physical and mental health, but when she found herself unexpectedly pregnant and then later miscarried it was only referred to cryptically on her website. She was flooded with fellow blogger declarations to “be there” for her even though they had never even met and they had no idea what she was even going through. What the hell does that mean? Why was this subject not honestly posted for comment like everything else; nothing seemed off limits before. It truly made me consider the notion that the entire thing was concocted to hold onto a man who wanted nothing to do with her. I don’t think that is what really happened, but the thought did creep into my brain just because she didn’t blog about it. Are some things too personal to post and we should respect that? I found myself judging her not only on what she did post, but on what she didn’t. That isn’t very fair of me, is it?
I was recently referred back to this same persons blog to read a post about the day a friend of hers “saved her life”, but she left out the part about how she blasted this person in the weeks to follow as she and her pseudo-friends said nasty things about her on the Internet and they aren’t speaking anymore. I was dying to comment that if her treatment of Jenny is what a friend gets for saving your life, then I would advise everyone in the future not to. What was the point of her post? To thank Jenny or bait us into commenting so her friends could rally again? Neither, I guess since neither occurred. Maybe, just maybe, the post wasn’t about Jenny or I. Maybe the world doesn’t revolve around me. New concept. Who’s the self-centered person now?
Maybe we miss the point of posts all together. Bombadee posted yesterday how Ella is having a hard time with the concept of being “big” and I wrote a four paragraph comment giving her advice and announcing how I handled the same hurdles. Was she asking for advice? No. But before I knew it I was typing up my two cents and checking back for her reply. Maybe my opinion on her toddlers transition from diapers to underwear wasn’t the intention of her post. Maybe the world doesn’t revolve around me. New concept. I’m seeing a pattern here.
When I would go out socially with a friend whose blog I used to read, she often declared at a table full of people that I was in her “stalker stats” and I would be so embarrassed. She would constantly check who was on her site, how long there were there, what they clicked on; it made me so self-conscious that I found myself thinking about it when I would read her blog and it took all of the enjoyment out of it for me. Then if someone was put on the disavowed list in her life, she would gleefully announce how she could “block the bitch” from her site. It seemed to be a power trip to her. It that what blogs are all about? The numbers on your site meter?
So what is the point? Is it all about me, me me? Are most bloggers incredibly narcissistic people or just me?
(Noticed how I had the word “me” in that sentence? Yep, it’s all about me.)
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