Opportunity Lost

I was informed eleven months ago, my current position at work was being eliminated. To maintain employment in the newly formed replacement position I would be required to obtain my A+ Certification by December 29, 2006. This certification is a series of two tests; one focused on hardware the other on operating systems. I passed the first test in August and struggled with the decision whether or not to take the second test by my deadline. See, I always intended to take the second test and become certified, however was unsure whether or not the changes in my department were resulting in a place I wanted to continue my employment. If I passed the by 12/29/06, I would forfeit the severance package offered when my current position ceased to exist. After much thought and consideration over the Thanksgiving holiday I decided to buck up, take the test and be a positive influence and help make the department a place I wanted to be rather than just expect it to happen on its own. I chose December 11th as my test day to give myself a window to retake it if needed (several of my coworkers had indicated the second test was very difficult and more than one had to take it twice to obtain a passing score).

Then on Wednesday, November 29th I received an email address to all of the employees in my area stating the following:

“We have agreed to shift a position from the Call Center to PC Support. Anyone who is qualified for the PC/network tech Level I (A+ certified) can apply. The posting begins today and closes at end of day Monday. You can notify me via email if you are interested in interviewing for the job.”

If I were going to be considered for this job, I had to somehow get my certification in four days. My first thought was no friggin’ way, it’s impossible. Plus, I wasn’t even considered qualified to keep the job I had; what made me think I would be qualified to move up? It has been the opinion of some in my department that I don’t deserve the job I have now. This has always been a dark cloud over my head that I have allowed to remain there and affect my self-confidence. No matter what I learned or new skills I obtained I have maintained the belief that I am no more than a dumb person in a room full of smart people. The only reason I have the job I do is because I’m a nice and likable person who knows the right people in the right places. I lack what many others in my area seem to have in abundance (some of them too much). Confidence.

After stewing the whole situation for a day and much encouragement from my mom, I decided that everyone else who would be applying for this job had just acquired their certification in the past six months. Was I really going to let this opportunity pass because I missed being qualified by seven days? Hell no. I studied my ass off for the next four days. I mean, with the exception of going to Bombadee’s roller derby on Sunday afternoon I lived, ate, slept and breathed operating systems for four days. Long story short (too late, I know), I easily passed and put my name in the hat of candidates. If they were looking for someone with drive, I’ve shown I’ve got it.

Then I had the interview and my chances crumbled. Historically I interview really, really well. I’m comfortable answering questions in front of a group, I teach customer service and issue resolution for the health system I work at so know all of the “right things to say” and am generally pretty quick on my toes when it comes to articulating well thought out answers to interview type questions. I may not know the answer to some of the specific technical questions, but don’t mind saying so and expressing my desire to learn. The PC techs interviewing all of us are pretty familiar with our skill levels and know we will require a significant amount of training to get up to par. If they wanted someone superbly technical and who could hit the ground running they wouldn’t have chosen to move someone up from the Call Center.

This interview was a complete and total disaster from the first question; “Why do you want to move into this position?” The first thing that came to my mind was “I shouldn’t move into this position because I don’t deserve it.” Of course I didn’t say that, but that thought would not leave my head and I believe I rolled my eyes and mumbled a few “ums” before finally spewing on about how my current area sucks so I figured “why not…it should be better then where I’m at now.” The whole time I was there, I could not shake this feeling. Even when I knew how to reply to some of their technical questions my response came out more like a question than an answer, like I wasn’t really sure but was guessing. I left the room embarrassed and feeling like a complete failure.

What should I have said? What do I wish I had the confidence to say?

I want to move into this position because I have excellent customer service skills, have proven myself to be a fast and motivated learner and given time, experience and training I am confident I will become a valued member of your team.

Maybe I’ll get another chance someday.