Trial Separation

Schweaty Man, my "work husband", and I are separating after almost two years together. Where he has gone, I have followed. I will miss him very much and plan to stay single, until we somehow find our way back to eachother.

In a week, I will be moving to my fifth desk in five months.

When I whined to my mom about it, she simply emailed back: "Frequent constant change is a sign of disorganization/no direction and also keeps people off balance which increases the intimidation factor."

Damn she's smart.

I Have Been Tagged!

Thanks to Bombadee for the tag.

Five things you didn't know about me:

1. I’m really uncomfortable sitting with my back to a room of people
2. I shot a bird with a .22 rifle when I was seven and was so heartbroken I’ve never shot another living creature since.
3. I still have dreams of being on stage and performing.
4. I can’t legally own a firearm in the state of Illinois (don’t ask, that’s all you’re getting on this one).
5. It’s very hard for me to come up with five things people don’t already know about me. I’m a pretty open book and if you don’t already know it, I don’t want you to.

TaterTot Family Holiday Letter: 2006

Many apologies for not sending holiday greetings and family updates for what I believe to be two years in a row. Cards, letters, pictures, stamps; they all have had a way of falling to the bottom of my overwhelming to-do list. I promised myself not to let that happen again, to take some time to reflect on 2006 and wish those we see every day and those we don’t see nearly often enough a wonderful holiday season and amazing 2007. The past year has been full of exciting changes in the TaterTot home.

Abigail Louise. This has been an incredible year with my eldest, who will be turning twelve this spring. Abi is active as ever in sports playing soccer, softball and basketball. While she is still easily located on the field for being the smallest player, she has the largest amount of drive, enthusiasm and sheer love of the game out there. Both her softball and basketball teams earned championships this year. School is still a place she very much enjoys, which is apparent in her outstanding marks. She has finally found a history buff buddy in our good friend Dan and enjoys talking his ear off about her knowledge of the Civil War and all things intellectual. Abi is looking forward to performing with the sixth grade band and choir for the holiday concert in just a few days. Actually, I’m not sure who’s anticipating the concert more; the entire family has endured her relentless carol singing and flute playing around the house for weeks. Chatting on the phone with friends, Friday night football games and careful consideration of what to wear each morning has made it abundantly clear that she is growing up. Abigail is a great source of joy as her dad and I have watch her transition into the strong, independent, bright and beautiful soul we see before us today.

Emily Anne. What can I say about my Mimi? She makes me laugh, out loud, every day of my life. In just a couple of short months Emily will be entering the realm of double-digits, as she looks forward to leaving the age of nine in the dust. She, like her sister, is very active. Soccer, softball and basketball keep mom and dad busy driving back and forth to practices and spending our Saturday’s nestled in chairs on the sidelines cheering on her team. Emily was honored to be a member of the championship teams in both soccer and baseball this year. Girls Scouts is an important part of her life as my hands can attest from sewing on her many earned patches. This summer she attended Girl Scout Camp, her first weeklong trip away from home. As we were getting her settled in the platform tent, she pointed to the rafters and asked her dad if that was a dead bat hanging from the ceiling. As soon as she said it, I thought to myself “How could a bat be hanging if it were dead?” Dad poked it and suddenly there were screaming girls running in all directions. We’ll be telling that story for years to come. Emily enjoyed some experimenting with her hair color this summer as well, sporting both hot pink and purple for a short period of time. Always looking to do everything her older sister can do, she learned to drive Grandma’s four-wheeler by herself, get a bull’s eye with her bow and arrow and shoot a can off a log with her dad’s rifle this year. Emily is a bright sun in the sky for all those privileged to know her. I look forward to years and years of pee-my-pants laughter with her.

Isaac David. Still my SugarLips. I am often teased if I don’t stop calling him this, poor Isaac will be cursed to wear a football jersey with SugarLips emblazoned on the back. He hasn’t given me that “Mom…not in front of the other kids” look yet, so my nickname lives on. September 11, 2006 marked Isaac’s third year and my continued frustration at his insistence to wear diapers. The girls easily potty trained by their second birthdays and here I had a three-year-old boy who thought underwear was “scary”. This all changed a few weeks ago when Jeff started a new job and Isaac’s would be going to the sitter’s house all day (more on the new job in a moment). Sitter Sally suggested this was the opportune time to go cold turkey. We told Isaac on a Sunday that starting tomorrow he would be going to Sally’s first thing in the morning, have preschool time, play with his friends, have some lunch, take and nap and then dad would pick him up…and by the way…no more diapers. Sally is a genius, it worked and I can’t thank her enough. Isaac is beginning to navigate the waters of independence, wanting more and more say in the world around him. I will admit it can be frustrating at times but it is also the most awesome site to see day after day. While Isaac has been blessed with the virtues of patience, caring, gentleness, curiosity and happiness we have been blessed with the overwhelming love he brings to our lives everyday.

Jeff and Jennie. Jeff finally, after almost twelve years, managed to find a first shift job a few weeks ago welding for a company in The City. The kids and I feel spoiled to have dad home for dinner every night of the week. Jeff feels spoiled to be able to go trick or treating with the family and help with homework or attend a week night ball game. I was worried at first, fearing a war over the remote control or arguments about how I’ve always ran my evenings alone with kids but it has been smooth as glass. I celebrated my tenth year at Memorial Hospital and was promoted to an IMS Call Center Analyst after finally earning my A+ Certification for computers. Jeff and I were invited to join our pals the Mathews in Las Vegas this summer to celebrate their 10th anniversary in the City of Lights. It’s funny how you get so wrapped up with soccer games and homework you forget how wonderful it is to put on a fancy dress and high heels to spend an evening out on the town with your fella. We hope to make it an annual weekend for mom and dad to get away and enjoy each other. Stephanie graduated from Benedictine University with her Bachelor’s Degree in Health Science and is working on her Doctorate in Physical Therapy at St. Ambrose University in Iowa. She and Brian are still going strong and I anticipate their relationship growing in the years to come. Sara is nestled snuggly in Arizona. Her house is built and she is working as a flight nurse and riding her horses and new Harley Davidson motorcycle in the warmer climate. She is still missed, but with us in thought everyday.

To all of our friends and family, thank you so very much for a wonderful year. I cherish the time I spend with each and every one of you and look forward to many more adventures in 2007.

Have an awesome holiday season and tremendous New Year!

Jeff, Jennie, Abigail, Emily and Isaac

“We dream a world without violence

a world of justice and faith.

Everyone gives the hand to his neighbours

Symbol of peace, of fraternity

We ask that life be kind

and watch us from above

We hope each soul will find

another soul to love”
-The Prayer

Tot + Bombadee + PunkyMom + Alcohol + Camera = Classy Images for the Internet

What's On Your Plate?

Starting tomorrow, December 14th:

Thursday Evening: Tot out with girls from work for dinner and to watch boys take off clothes.
Friday Evening: Jeff’s Holiday Party for Work
Saturday Morning: Two basketball games
Saturday Afternoon: Shopping with Sister Stephie
Saturday Evening: Tot’s Holiday Party for Work
Sunday: Finish all shopping and wrap all presents. Hopefully have a cosmo.

Work Monday through Friday, evenings peppered with one Girl Scout meeting and four basketball practices.

Friday Evening: Out for an evening of dinner and dancing with my bestest buddies (can’t wait for this one)
Saturday All Day: Tot’s Extended Family Christmas Party
Sunday (Christmas Eve): Jeff’s Mother’s house
Monday (Christmas): Parents and Sister to our house for brunch, stay at home all day in pajamas on couch watching kid’s play with new loot. Hopefully have a cosmo.

Work Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday; three evening basketball practices

Friday: Off work, shopping with Sister Sara home from Arizona (Yeah!)
Saturday Morning: Three basketball games (Emi has a double header)
Saturday Afternoon & Evening: Christmas with Tot’s Parental Units
Sunday Evening (New Year’s Eve): Friends to the House of Tot for a New Year’s Eve Party, family style. Hopefully have a cosmo.

Opportunity Lost

I was informed eleven months ago, my current position at work was being eliminated. To maintain employment in the newly formed replacement position I would be required to obtain my A+ Certification by December 29, 2006. This certification is a series of two tests; one focused on hardware the other on operating systems. I passed the first test in August and struggled with the decision whether or not to take the second test by my deadline. See, I always intended to take the second test and become certified, however was unsure whether or not the changes in my department were resulting in a place I wanted to continue my employment. If I passed the by 12/29/06, I would forfeit the severance package offered when my current position ceased to exist. After much thought and consideration over the Thanksgiving holiday I decided to buck up, take the test and be a positive influence and help make the department a place I wanted to be rather than just expect it to happen on its own. I chose December 11th as my test day to give myself a window to retake it if needed (several of my coworkers had indicated the second test was very difficult and more than one had to take it twice to obtain a passing score).

Then on Wednesday, November 29th I received an email address to all of the employees in my area stating the following:

“We have agreed to shift a position from the Call Center to PC Support. Anyone who is qualified for the PC/network tech Level I (A+ certified) can apply. The posting begins today and closes at end of day Monday. You can notify me via email if you are interested in interviewing for the job.”

If I were going to be considered for this job, I had to somehow get my certification in four days. My first thought was no friggin’ way, it’s impossible. Plus, I wasn’t even considered qualified to keep the job I had; what made me think I would be qualified to move up? It has been the opinion of some in my department that I don’t deserve the job I have now. This has always been a dark cloud over my head that I have allowed to remain there and affect my self-confidence. No matter what I learned or new skills I obtained I have maintained the belief that I am no more than a dumb person in a room full of smart people. The only reason I have the job I do is because I’m a nice and likable person who knows the right people in the right places. I lack what many others in my area seem to have in abundance (some of them too much). Confidence.

After stewing the whole situation for a day and much encouragement from my mom, I decided that everyone else who would be applying for this job had just acquired their certification in the past six months. Was I really going to let this opportunity pass because I missed being qualified by seven days? Hell no. I studied my ass off for the next four days. I mean, with the exception of going to Bombadee’s roller derby on Sunday afternoon I lived, ate, slept and breathed operating systems for four days. Long story short (too late, I know), I easily passed and put my name in the hat of candidates. If they were looking for someone with drive, I’ve shown I’ve got it.

Then I had the interview and my chances crumbled. Historically I interview really, really well. I’m comfortable answering questions in front of a group, I teach customer service and issue resolution for the health system I work at so know all of the “right things to say” and am generally pretty quick on my toes when it comes to articulating well thought out answers to interview type questions. I may not know the answer to some of the specific technical questions, but don’t mind saying so and expressing my desire to learn. The PC techs interviewing all of us are pretty familiar with our skill levels and know we will require a significant amount of training to get up to par. If they wanted someone superbly technical and who could hit the ground running they wouldn’t have chosen to move someone up from the Call Center.

This interview was a complete and total disaster from the first question; “Why do you want to move into this position?” The first thing that came to my mind was “I shouldn’t move into this position because I don’t deserve it.” Of course I didn’t say that, but that thought would not leave my head and I believe I rolled my eyes and mumbled a few “ums” before finally spewing on about how my current area sucks so I figured “why not…it should be better then where I’m at now.” The whole time I was there, I could not shake this feeling. Even when I knew how to reply to some of their technical questions my response came out more like a question than an answer, like I wasn’t really sure but was guessing. I left the room embarrassed and feeling like a complete failure.

What should I have said? What do I wish I had the confidence to say?

I want to move into this position because I have excellent customer service skills, have proven myself to be a fast and motivated learner and given time, experience and training I am confident I will become a valued member of your team.

Maybe I’ll get another chance someday.