What's the Point?

Blogs, blogs, blogs.

Why do we post?
Who are we posting for?
How often should one post?
Do we check our site meters to see who is reading and how often?
Is that the point?
Are people honest?
Do we omit what we really want to say because we know who may be reading it?
Is not including something important going on in your life a lie by omission or just a choice?
Is a blog supposed to be an online diary of my thoughts and point of view or a family album full of kid pictures and announcements of growing pains?
Are pictures of my Vegas vacations and drunken adventures with my girlfriends as funny to everyone else as they are to me?
I’ve read some really balls out arguments surrounding such topics as politics, abortion, and breastfeeding; is any subject open for discussion?
Are friendships strong enough to handle disagreement or do we hold back for fear of alienating those closest to us?
Could a total stranger change my lifelong belief on a subject with a two paragraph comment?
Do I really think I could change someone else’s with mine?

One of my favorite blogs, Messy Beautiful, is closing down. She is looking for some anonymity and I have to admit the idea is appealing. I don’t post things here I would like to for fear of hurting a friend’s feelings or being dooced. When I started this blog, I was careful about who from my “real life” I gave the address to so I could write freely without worry. I now realize that concept is out the window, as I purposefully withhold things knowing who reads. These day’s I feel I can’t even post what my social plans are for fear of hurting someone’s feelings. The restraints I have put on myself have led me to post less and less often.

We all hold things back from our blogs, including only bits and pieces carefully re-read for hidden meanings and spell-checked before hitting the “Publish” button. Well, I should say most of us spell-check (~wink to you know who~).

One blog I read makes no mention of the fact their spouse is in politics or an argument I know they may have had three weeks ago. I post about how wonderful my husband is but exclude the fact that he pisses me off sometimes and we argue. Is the picture I’m presenting on by blog what IS or what I want it to BE?

Another blog I used to read is authored by the most self-centered person I thought I have ever met. She would gleefully announce every single woe in her life and share incredibly personal details about her physical and mental health, but when she found herself unexpectedly pregnant and then later miscarried it was only referred to cryptically on her website. She was flooded with fellow blogger declarations to “be there” for her even though they had never even met and they had no idea what she was even going through. What the hell does that mean? Why was this subject not honestly posted for comment like everything else; nothing seemed off limits before. It truly made me consider the notion that the entire thing was concocted to hold onto a man who wanted nothing to do with her. I don’t think that is what really happened, but the thought did creep into my brain just because she didn’t blog about it. Are some things too personal to post and we should respect that? I found myself judging her not only on what she did post, but on what she didn’t. That isn’t very fair of me, is it?

I was recently referred back to this same persons blog to read a post about the day a friend of hers “saved her life”, but she left out the part about how she blasted this person in the weeks to follow as she and her pseudo-friends said nasty things about her on the Internet and they aren’t speaking anymore. I was dying to comment that if her treatment of Jenny is what a friend gets for saving your life, then I would advise everyone in the future not to. What was the point of her post? To thank Jenny or bait us into commenting so her friends could rally again? Neither, I guess since neither occurred. Maybe, just maybe, the post wasn’t about Jenny or I. Maybe the world doesn’t revolve around me. New concept. Who’s the self-centered person now?

Maybe we miss the point of posts all together. Bombadee posted yesterday how Ella is having a hard time with the concept of being “big” and I wrote a four paragraph comment giving her advice and announcing how I handled the same hurdles. Was she asking for advice? No. But before I knew it I was typing up my two cents and checking back for her reply. Maybe my opinion on her toddlers transition from diapers to underwear wasn’t the intention of her post. Maybe the world doesn’t revolve around me. New concept. I’m seeing a pattern here.

When I would go out socially with a friend whose blog I used to read, she often declared at a table full of people that I was in her “stalker stats” and I would be so embarrassed. She would constantly check who was on her site, how long there were there, what they clicked on; it made me so self-conscious that I found myself thinking about it when I would read her blog and it took all of the enjoyment out of it for me. Then if someone was put on the disavowed list in her life, she would gleefully announce how she could “block the bitch” from her site. It seemed to be a power trip to her. It that what blogs are all about? The numbers on your site meter?

So what is the point? Is it all about me, me me? Are most bloggers incredibly narcissistic people or just me?

(Noticed how I had the word “me” in that sentence? Yep, it’s all about me.)