The following items were noted this weekend at the Tiny Town festival the Tot’s attended (my parental unit’s home town):
- The recipe for a “Lemon Shake Up” is ice, water, 1/2 lemon and 2 teaspoons sugar. Under no circumstances will I ever pay $5.00 for it.
- My first new mission in life is “Dental Care for Carnies”. Enough said.
- My second new mission in life is to educate the incredibly friendly woman who ran the racecar ride my son was infatuated with all weekend. She had no teeth (literally), looked 50 and would rub her very pregnant belly with the left hand as the right hand controlled the unending stream of cigarettes.
- Like to people watch? Looking for dirty children drinking Coke from a bottle? Mullets? Carnie’s hitting on 13 year-old girls wearing sparkly blue eye shadow and padded bras? 6th graders thinking their cool “smoking” fake cigarettes? Dunlaps? Go to a tiny town carnival. There were girls my size (an 18) wearing hip huggers that my skinny kid sister wouldn’t wear; some with the added bonus of a crop-top. I considered snapping some pics to post, but was weary I would be jumped in the middle of town. Doody, my 11-year-old daughter, noticed some of her classmates “smoking” the fake cigarettes and told me “They just graduated the D.A.R.E. program with me at school and now they’re pretending to smoke. They’re stupid and should have flunked.” When I see a girl who can’t be older than 20 pregnant, pushing a stroller with one hand, dragging her 3 year old with the other as she screams so violently at him that her 3 inch ash falls off her Winston…I somehow get angry and sad all at the same time.
On a more positive note:
- The MegaPass was an awesome idea, new this year. My kids were able to enjoy the carnival rides, unlimited, from Thursday-Sunday for $30 each. Considering tickets for rides averaged $3-$5 each, we saved a HUGE amount of cash and were able to avoid rationing their riding as we have had to do in years past. SugarLips was a man obsessed and must have ridden the same four rides over fifty times.
- My parent’s pool is up and running; water is a refreshing 85 degrees. If you’re looking for me and it’s hot out, one guess where you’ll find me.
- The Tiny Town Variety Show was fun, witty and entertaining. The theme this year was "A Family Affair" and for me, it was just that: my uncle sang in a Barbershop Choir and three of my cousins were in the skits. Can't wait til next years show.
7 comments:
No end to the mesh-back* menagerie in a small town carnie.
*referring to the mesh on the back of their hats.
Now look who's calling names. oops
Is "carnie" a slur?
Carnies are cool. When I was 10 I bought a big-ass, not to mention shitty quality, knife and the carnie didn't even blink. I think he was too hung over to care.
I have the proud experience of having a close cousin actually run away with the carnival. She called my aunt a couple months later, sobbing.
She was sick from having to work in the rain, suffering from exhaustion from having to work from open until close, and afraid for her safety as the numerous other carnies leered at her wantonly. She said it was the grosses display of humanity gone wrong and inbreeding gone unbridled she had ever seen. She said that one girl actually called a guy that worked there "brotherdaddy." She was too afraid to find out if he actually was.
*grossest
sorry for the typo :)
That reminds me of the scene in National Lampoons Vacation:
Cousin Vicki: I'm going steady, and I French kiss.
Audrey Griswold: So? Everybody does that.
Cousin Vicki: Yeah, but Daddy says I'm the best at it.
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